iRate© -iZaln iEnterprises™

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Nlaz, Sep 3, 2010.

  1. Bump so you cab rate me story
     
  2. Zaln does it get annoying to put ur name on all your posts?
     
  3. Wow aint been one posted on here in a while
     
  4. Yeah, there haven't been any requests in a while...
     
  5. Well if you're bored and have nothing to do, you can rate battle camp the enemy, and this time spell my name right in the review.
     
  6. The battle camp rating goes for all three 
     
  7. Awwwww thanks GlooMi!
     
  8. Id say rate mine but its not finished XD
     
  9. Please rate my story so far. Its called whispers
     
  10. -DISCLAIMER-
    This story was written by l__Knight__l and  edited by Asutarisuku. & re- edited by l__Knight__l
    I'm posting it for him because I has da powarz to edit posts.
    The Original draft can be found here.
    Please use old feedback thread which can be found in "fan fiction", Chapter 1 is in the works so wait for it! >.<




    ~The Way The Wind Blew~

    Prologue

    The Moon was starting to set over the horizon; bringing the darkest hour on this night.
    Against the pale night sky, the treetops looked like the fangs of a bat.

    A figure lurked beneath the shadows of the forest; nothing could be seen of him but the vapor of his breath in the chill of the night. The Moon vanished as it sank under the crest of the outlying hills, and with it the lamps in the tavern lit up.
       
    The tavern was a small wooden building with panels in the windows that let out little light. A cobbled pathway led up to the front door, made of exquisite dark oak wood. The surroundings were lost in darkness.

    The sound of laughter and cups being banged on tabletops rang out over the little cove. The figure made his way to the tavern's door, tapped it lightly and it swung open without a sound, the figure stepped into the soft glow of the tavern’s light, illuminating his features. 

    His blonde hair was that of mid-length, covering one of his eyes, which were a deep blue with an intricate pattern that some got lost in. He had a face of a boy but you could see it had been aged far too early for this boy looked 20 at best to others who knew he was but was just the small 15 spins of the world.

    He was plainly garbed in a white tunic and black pants, with leather belt  
    & Brass buckle; nothing special. What caught their attention was the bow on his back; which was covered the bag strapped around his shoulders, and an unusually shaped sword that was foreign to the occupants of tavern which were starring at him mindlessly.
         
    They didn't know what to make of this stranger in there midsts. There was silence as the stranger slaunted to the bar. 
     
    "you have a warm drink" he asked in a rough cut voice as he leaned on a post, 
    the keeper was slightly dazed, but nodded, he went silently to get it. As he come back he was holding a steel tankard with what looked like a thick orange liquid inside.  
    "2 iclar  for the drink sir" the tavern keep mumbled as he passed it to this stranger.
       
    The stranger dug in one off his pockets & produced two coins made out of copper. They had a symbol of some sort on the top which the tavern keeper regonizied as the old currency, he chucked them on the counter and sat down at a nearby table.
           
    The light mummers formed into conversations and after a few minuets the tavern forgot about the stranger. Which was just aswell the stranger thought, he went from his upright posture to one that was slumped as he relaxed a little.  No one seemed to remember him in these parts of Arafina.

    Which was just to his likeing, who would want to remember him as he is the Son of the King who surrendered the land to the people over the sea... The hjys... Atleast he was trying to reedem himself he thought, we will taken the kingdom back, outside a war hawks cry was heard and a smile played on Davids lips, he drowned his tankard of namo. What David didn't notice was that on  back of the tavern door there was a poster of him. 
                    MISSING 
    Name: David arjan  (Son of the king) 
    Occupation: Heir to the throne. 
    Last sighted in the Provence of celtiaca, with an unknown person. 

    200 iclar if found.

    But someone in the tavern did, another stranger to the usuals of the tavern, sitting with there crowl of there face and a plain green & grey cape surrounding them, an unfinished drink lay on the table, a single candle was burning slowly. 
     
    The stranger got up and you could see there full hight, which was roughly 6ft, which was gigantic in these parts. They also had a sword on there hip, but one that was bigger than normal as it reached the lenght of his leg. 

    This stranger, after throwing a few coin on the table, covered the ground between him & David in just a few strides. 

    After downing his drink, David set it on the table, wipped his mouth on his sleeve ; out the corner of his eye he could see the giant looming over him, realisation hit him as he saw the giants eyes. He embraced him like an old friend.     
     
  11. Great story! It comes to live reading it 
    Hope to read more real soon 
     
  12. Some one rate mine!
    please?
     
  13. Please tell us the title of your story and what page it's on.
     
  14. It's called whispers and it's a completely different thread
     
  15. Please rate my story the flame eternal I am 1 chapter in but I wanna see how i am doing. It is on the last page so far.
     
  16. We prefer rating if there's more chapters, so it would allow for a more accurate and clearer response in addressing issues/likes in your story.

    iZaln
     
  17. Ok! I will start chapter 2.