Some problems with forced description. It needs to flow better. To improve this, try reading your chapter out loud. It will make a world of a difference. Other than that nice job, much more neat and organized then FitS
:roll: Its bettter than Footprints by a longshot! Excellent improvement! However the last chapter wasn't as organized which made me sad
Lady Marian I made this book to be confusing some people will like it some people won't I understand that just telling you that it has a certain purpose
Gloomi's right, your characters stuck in a world and has to get out, while everyones trying to kill her. Kinda cliche. I'm not trying to be mean, I loved the plot in foot prints in the sand, just stating my oppinion!
Well that's what she wished for on the mirror. I guess your right though, I understand your point of veiw but you have to admit, it's kind of origanal...right?