inner vices

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by *F0RCEL1FEAU0RA (01), Jan 12, 2013.

  1. Thanks for the advice :) I will continue this one
     
  2. To get out of my way "!? She said, "actually how about you walk around me?˝ I replied cooly. "Oh you want me to hurt you?" She said holding up a fist , "would like to see you even try to touch me I said angrily" pinning her against my locker "and I wouldn't do that if I were you" I said letting her go and walking away.

    Just as I was walking towards my last class for the day I noticed my target staring at me, I skipped towards him "hey how are you?" I said with a smile (I was starting to feel as if he liked me) "great" he replied, "what made you so happy, you look like you just fell in love" he joked. "I don't know" I countered "maybe I have," and then I walked away

    "soo you're home, go occupy you're time and make me some food, I had a hard day today". With a small sigh I made him toast before leaving to go for a relaxing jog.
     
  3. Oh btw ill accept negative feedback now
     
  4. I took a short run too school and then I just sat down next to some boys, after a while I saw my target start making a Beline towards me, "hey" he began " my name is Chris, I saw you earlier today and .. well you looked very pretty. "Thanks" I replied "do you want to go and get ice cream or something? Its gtting hot" "no thanks" he replied "I have to go home and help my sister with her homework, but maybe you can come over to my house? " he said hopefully "sure I would love to" I said.

    When I finally got home I could tell my stepdad was in a bad mood, "well where have you been happy face!?" He growled at me, "for you're sake I hope you got some work done" he smiled a nasty smile "I got a little work done", I said slowly "but I don't think he is a good target" "and why do you think that, have you gone mad he is handsome, strong, and kind. Everyone likes him, meaning he will catch a great price!" He yelled at me. As a few tears went down my face he gave a evil smile. "Oh he said" with a laugh "you actually do like him this is great," "No its not great! I will not do this I'm sick of it," I paused before yelling "I HATE YOU AND I WILL NOT DO THIS". 2 hours later I was 20 miles away from my stepfather, I was cold, tired, and hungry. But I didn't even regret running away from him.
     
  5. Ooh, ur getting better with longer posts  Anyway, spelling and grammar and ur set 
     
  6. @Sir Kid,
    Right, but I hate the attitude he has when he gets negative comments
     
  7. Sry, I said sir kid when I should have said sir KD
     
  8. Np, and F0RCE said he would take negative comments which aren't really negative, they just help the author
     
  9. Did you see the first page? He called us idiots
     
  10. Are u really getting worked up over a stupid comment? No intention to be rude or anything 
     
  11. Read the entire first page, he called us idiots.
     
  12. Chapter 2

    I woke up the next day feeling quite happy no stepdad (from now on Mr delanor) telling me to make him food ir anything. I decided to walk to a town called oakmont, I could get a job working at the mall. A new id maybe my real name, and a new life.


    After 7 hours of walking I finally reached the town mall. I decided to look for work at an ice cream shop or something like that, I'm the end I just got a job as a delivery girl. Hopefully I could do better then that, after that I decided I would quit school and pretend like I was 16, I decided I would spend the night in the woods again tonight.

    I woke up late at about 10:30 am and ran to work "you're late" my new boss said angrily, " soo sorry. Ill worj an hour late to make up for it"said. I
     
  13. Sorry about that horrable typing the game is lagging forums bad
     
  14. Why aren't forums working right?