How to lose 15 wars in a row and enjoy it.

Discussion in 'Best Of' started by cactusbread, Nov 5, 2013.

  1. If you are like me and never win rancor wars… here’s a few tips to keep you going for the rest of the season.

    But first some basic ground rules for losing wars.

    1. War with friends – When you lose you don’t want to be stuck in a clan full of ass bags waiting for VP to finish so you can get the hell out of there.

    2. Always use the xtals, mith and pots- even though you know it’s a complete waste, if you are following rule number one you’ll understand why.

    3. Always be active til the end – Again, rule number one.

    Now on to the tips to not totally rage out…

    1. Place the Blame – This one is easy. Everyone can fill cc with things like “what kinda matchup is this???” and “omg they have 12 guild hansels” and “we have two inactives” and "this lag is terrible". This is a good bonding experience and really eases the pain of the inevitable looming loss.

    2. Tiny Celebrations – When you are all being sat on and they are all up and the red keeps piling up, its always nice to give “nice one!” when someone gets a ko. Even a little “woohoo” when you manage to sko can make you feel a little better.

    3. Distraction – When you are ko’d and regening (and there is no need to sweep because the other guys are all up and sitting on you) its nice to take your mind off of things for 7-12 minutes. Watch some Monday Night Football, check on your fantasy football team or write a forum thread. The possibilities here are endless.

    4. Don’t Read Your Wall – I made this mistake around loss 11 and got a cute little “Great War, Much Respect…and whatnot) It made me rage out and post all rude on some walls and I regretted it later. Trust me. Those wall posts don’t make you feel any better so just avoid em.

    5. Don’t do Math – There is no point in adding up all the pots, mith and xtals you used to figure out you had a net loss of 15bil or whatever… this doesn’t help at all.

    6. Post War Bashing – After VP its nice to have someone to beat on while your all mithed up. I recommend hitting the battle list, starting a 1v1 or even joining an OSW. The fun there just keeps going and going.

    7. False Hope – This one is very important to keep you coming back for the next war. Always have hope that you will finally get a good matchup for the next war.. heck you might even get a win! Or you can hope that maybe the Devs will be giving out some sort of pity prizes at the end of the season…. Whatever you want to hope for doesn’t really matter… just have to hope for something.

    Now, for those of you only around loss 5 or 6 I know you are thinking why am I even warring and some of you won’t make it to loss 7 and that’s ok. Those around 9-10 losses have stuck it out this far, but you are in a “Rancor Rage Danger Zone” so you need to be very careful….. the slightest thing could cause you to get perm silenced or smash your phone or laptop into bits.

    Just remember to stay calm and breath follow the steps I have outlined and it should help, and don’t worry it gets easier. Now that I am at 15 losses in a row I’m like a Zen Master. Wuuuuussssaaaahhhh!
     
  2. this is probably the best thread I've read all week lol
     
  3. Yeah this is great lol
     
  4. awesome cac
     
  5. :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  6. :lol: awesome thread.
     
  7. I like this thread.
     
  8. more people follow this so i can have more mith/
     
  9. So true
     
  10. This thread....ohmeerrrgod lmao :lol: :lol:
     
  11. (Sigh ) life of a war merc . Xp . Nice cac
     
  12. Love the thread forums need a bit of humour occasionally in between all of he butthurt threads
     
  13. What about 10 no matches in a row, could you please help me to navigate that travesty?
     
  14. 
    Bravo Bravo
     
  15. Oh. My. God , that's some funny **** right here! Listen to him guys, it only gets better
     
  16. Hahahahaha I love it
     
  17. I have warred against cactusbread a couple of times. Always in my news. Great warrior and great attitude. Best of luck out there.