How to crack an omelette 

One completely understands.
Special Christmas present coming to one of you. Hope the lucky one is on to catch it. 

 

 what do you know. Another one woken up.
So we are discussing tactics again today?

Hmm how to pin a spy well that's easy, but check my nf. None of you doing that

Your tanks all have far too many reverse gears.
And your spies. They are all quitting in dead clans.
Lovely open farms. Pay better than anything this side of hte.
But Omet tactic. If its not hte don't hit it.

Makes it easy for me to do this.

 

 you wish. And ask chewy about successful actions. He loves my attention.
As I told ya Hun. You're just a silly distraction for when I'm not whacking him. But I do like that you try so hard to compete for my attention. Or is that I find it disturbing. Something about you egg cult lot, I think you are all confused about certain issues. ( see the chewy love story for that part ) 

 

Crying. Wow who's crying?
Silly egg as I said. This ain't 1v1 and don't claim it ever was. I already proved that 
This is me farming any of you I care to hit. And as I said pm. Don't expect me to waste my resources on failed actions when there are enough of you for me to pick from to win non stop. Your job cupcake is to stop me. Mine is to farm omette1 for being an idiot  whenever I feel like it ( which is a lot )
Forum warrior. Heck you totally miss the point of this thread don't you.
Lets see. Is it to proclaim I'm tough< no face-palm
.
Is it to keep track of how many days left, in part yes. Dreadful memory 

But above anything to entertain ( which from pm's I get this seems to do) so take your bravado hard boil it and insert it from where it once came. Because omelettes are just a bad pun now certainly nothing to be feared.
Oh and last facepalm. Please don't ever use the expression real warrior in a bleeping tap tap game. That's just totally sad

 

Doofuss. I did tell you you won't see it. So don't twist words. As what I out at least to prove that. You are not worthy and never will be 
Oh and please tell me how many eggs does it take to make an omelette?

All of them because one can't get the job done.
And hmmm curious you coming out to play now the Christmas Day threat is there. I think you are scared its you 

 

 still begging for info. I thought I wasn't worth anything to you. But yet you need to ask for my mains identity. Hmm something wrong with that picture. Me thinks you are sweating a little too much

 

Lmfao. I love how you post things out of context. Now post the ss and show the dear readers what I actually said and what you failed to comprehend 
Poor omelettes failed relationships seem to be a trend. And now they are in that denial stage where they do not see the benefit of counselling. So sad .
Maybe I should do that ( post the ss ) for tomorrow's bump as I certainly don't need to post a witty thread update today. You have given me so much amusement I would crack myself up.
On the plus side. Today I have received incoming from my dear new friends in pm. And nf. Highly eggciting developments.
About time they got involved really 

 

Well the time of the festive season is upon us.
Christmas pressie time soon. And if you don't celebrate it. BAH HUM BUG TO YA
For those who do. MERRY CHRISTMAS

Now of course we know how the self proclaimed bunnies will celebrate.





And of course their pillows will call to them afterwards.



But regardless of their shenanigans




Just please. Try not to act this creepy, you cult nutters are freakier than some nut job running around with his underwear on the outside, A subject I know about.



Now back to the war of the words in 3 days. Sorry commitments so gotta love and leave you aside from a few surprises I have in store.
Then we can get back to the matter of cracking eggs-noggins together again.

 

Well I certainly hope you have all had a wonderful Christmas.
Aside from popping on to annoy certain eggs ( yes it's an obsessive hobby now ) I have had a most wonderful Christmas break. Longer than anticipated so I apologise for ending your relief of being spared the hardship of putting up with my posts.
That said as pleasurable a time as I have had. I must mention one conversation with an egg. You see he/she ( not sure which or if both or transitioning whatever irrelevant ) was confirming their eggstrodinary belief system.

You know the usual pretend you're the easter bunny, have Elmer chase you about and get drunk routine belief. Sounds a tad weird to me but anyway. I digress.
Whilst eggsplaining their belief he decided to get all factual upon me in an endeavour to ruin Christmas for my little ones.
Sorry folks. The omelettes do not all believe in Father Christmas 



The following is his eggsplanation of how Father Christmas cannot be real. ( with a few additional images added for clarification ).


For years now, they've lied to us. But now the biggest conspiracy since

the incorporation of Yule into Christianity has been uncovered: There is no

Santa Claus. Who wasn't told this absurd lie? For many, it was told even by

their parents! And who is behind this conspiracy? The C.I.A., the K.G.B.

or perhaps Mr. Macy? Was this an attempt by the Freemasons to boost their
power with lies?

The research department of that renown scientific journal

EGG magazine has calculated and come to the shocking

result: there is no Santa Claus!




1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of

living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects

and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa

has ever seen.




2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world.

BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and

Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378

million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census)

rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes

there's at least one good child in each.




3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different

time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west

(which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second.

This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa

has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the

chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the

tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back

into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these

91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course,

we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept),

we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2

million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once

every 31 hours.





This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000

times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made

vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per

second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.




4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming

that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds),

the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably

described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more

than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could

pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even

nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even

counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for

comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.



5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air

resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as

spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer

will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short,

they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer

behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake.



The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a

second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06

times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim)

would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.





Well after reading all this all I could think was, geez this guy is a total bah humbug Scrooge



Does he not know anything of Christmas.
So to counter this I say simply. Do you really think Saint Nick has been alive hundreds of years without saving a little nest egg of his own to invest in some new toys of his own?



And if that isn't enough. Yeah i know it wont be. But, I'll let you in on a little secret. Santa uses.......

Wait for it.

Magic.



Science only gets you so far after all and he does know a certain doctor, who you ask?
Can't say.




So lighten up eggs. Christmas is not all about the eggnog you know.

Hope all of kaw had a great festive season. I know I did.

But as a quick reminder to those who oppose. To those who tried to be eggstreme



Oh and of course. Don't forget. Only 330 days left 

 

Well the eggs are so boring I am having to invent new ways to play with them. So today's little hint for how to snuff out an egg ( or at least trap one )



If only the omets were so entertaining as the real things.

329 days left of farming boring noobs 

 

So what accounts for the omelettes being so boring you may ask?
I certainly did.
And resorted to my spy cameras to give me that vital clue.
Now aside from the fact they are a dead alliance in both entity and allegiance. It also transpires that when you fight them back, something quite amusing happens.



They pass out from the shock of someone daring to hit them. Panic and go into a prolonged hibernation.

328 days left 

 

Happy new year all.
Eggcept eggs of course 