Hello hello hello. This is a guide to help all you 13 forum users learn how to create the PERFECT retirement thread. What are my credentials you might ask? WELL I am Snoopy, the king of retirement threads. In my long KaWreer, i have posted an amazing 7.5 retirement threads. (note: i say .5 because my brother faked my death in a thread once and i didn’t wanna come back). Now, some of you might recognize Snoopy as the ex-Doctor who helped you with the problems of life. Or maybe you recognize him as the Prince of Forum Trivia. Some may recognize me as the 4th hottest man on the planet. Some might recognize me for my ability to draw out a thread as long as possible for comedic effect, even if it’s not funny. Whatever the case may be, I am the self proclaimed legend of retirement threads and I WANT to help you. So... let’s begin. Should I put something really large or in bold here? I feel like I should.. hmm. Hey siri, bold this. Bold it. Make it bold. Okay so step 1.) The first step to a legendary retirement thread is to begin by “reminiscing” on the good times. I like to use the times I was pretending to be active in OSW, but secretly just playing on an unnamed alt on my PC (rip PC). It helps to begin the thread with: Ah.. KaW. I loved it and hated it... here’s my story. I am a great legend because I believe I am. ^Simple right? I think so. Step 2.) This is a key part. To legitimize your legend status, you NEED to put a thank you list to some of the biggest names in KaW and pretend you had a close relationship. What I liked to do was follow these players, have one conversation, and say they were my closest friend. Easy. Step 3.) So this is where my alt would come in handy. To say that I was awesome, I would plant countless alts in the thread saying how much they’d miss me and peer pressure everyone into saying the same. I liked to use terms like, “goodbye you sexy beast” or “ily big papi” Step 3 is extremely simple and not hard to follow, i’m also getting bored so i’m going to hurry this along. Step 4.) Return within 2 weeks and say that you made a mistake and you missed everyone. Make a dramatic re-entry into the game by posting something stupid in forums, like so. Thanks for listening! Enjoy!