If my grammar gets a little country I apologize I'm from the south so...thatd be where it'd come from
Well I think it is marvelous. But remember my advice on other peoples characters camotan. I write my stories on PC then I email it to myself copy the email on my iPod then paste it in reply. That's what I do for DT.
Chapter 5 is now up, check it out and give some feedback please. some positives would be nice too lol
But I do have to add. I don't think that Charles would just be like "WOAH! THAT DUDE IS GONNA KILL US!"
I like how you've built the story with the chars but just know it will get harder like sometimes you could think of a cool plot but you gotta work around another dudes character. Watch out.
I have a idea for my next story after I finish Stranded I have the title already. "The Life of a Criminal" I'll be inviting 3 people to create a character for I shall only have 3 main characters. The main character shall be a criminal of murders, robberies, and almost any crime possible. One of the others will be the main character's gang leader who tells the criminal (insert name) where to hit next. The last main character will be the FBI agent (insert name here) who is tracking the criminal (insert name) There will be a ton of violence. I'll be sending the invites as soon as I post this. Those invited please post the character here. Thanks
Ok chapter, but you still need more description. Of the setting and of the characters feelings. It doesn't seem realistic that Wheatley didn't think of pain after he noticed his broken hand.