*Chirabbit (01)
Well-Known Member
Re: KaW Fan Fiction Superthread (The Story Index)
-The last sentence of your first paragraph is incomplete
-you should join the third and fourth sentences of the second paragraph
-change to: "Several were on horses, many were wielding..."
-change the "a" after Cor says hold to "the"
-your missing a "n" in your "then" after the word approached
-new paragraph after "a fire burning within" and join "eight cavaliers. Their spears..." ( eight cavaliers, their spears...)
-The last sentence of your first paragraph is incomplete
-you should join the third and fourth sentences of the second paragraph
-change to: "Several were on horses, many were wielding..."
-change the "a" after Cor says hold to "the"
-your missing a "n" in your "then" after the word approached
-new paragraph after "a fire burning within" and join "eight cavaliers. Their spears..." ( eight cavaliers, their spears...)