Just read you story! The plot seems mighty fine, everything is moving at a quick pace, though it seems as if it is going slowly. «That writing style is the best type out there, and many wish that they could write in that style. You need better grammar, spelling, and punctuation though. I recommend reading some books and finding out the authors writing style. You also need some more "line spaces". Otherwise, the story is pretty good
I didn't read it yet(I will soon, just a bit backlogged)but... First thing that I noticed was that there are no spaces. Just a block a writing. Use the return/enter key, it's a visual thing. Second, no chapter names? At least write like "chapter 1, chapter 2, etc." That's what published books looks like. And also, skimming it, there also aren't any capitals on the first word of the post. Again it's a visual and I guess grammar thing. Since I haven't read it I can't comment on the content.(srry)
YOU MADE ME AN ELF Jk, I don't care just plz NO pointed ears just elven face features and height (btw how tall is the main character) other then that it is great can't wait for the next chapter
technically speaking you never said you don't want to be an elf :twisted: jk i just needed the corect elf to human ratio. there have to be elves 4 later in the story
and if you would have read carefully only 1 characters exact height wasn't mentioned but ill spell it out for you to make it simpler says zet is 6'1 an lucion is 2 in. taller so 6'3 says I am 4 in. shorter so 5'9 says you're 2 in. shorter then that so 5'7 cathy is youre height also youre height so aprox. 5'7 and says angie the shortest ( the only height i didnt give) she's 5'4
I can't pick out that kind of thing in a story A question yes a story no Oh and "Cheese I SAW you" *sets creeping Cheesemuffin trap(it will probably fail) *sets Cheesemuffin's cheesecake trap(if it works free cheesecake for everyone!)
It was a bit cryptic but when I actually said every height it sounded stupid so I gave an aprox. Height and a way to figure it out exactly in case I needed to remember later
I'm not a big reader. I guess I got lost and stumbled across your piece. I was pretty damn impressed though! I guess that doesn't mean much from a person who barley reads, But you can count on me coming back to fan fic in hope of the next chapter. =D