A verse on buying Aqua with x-tals (in homage to "Green Eggs and Ham") Despite the game has been expanded, Likely my items stay un-enchanted. I will not trade a single X-tal For an Aqua that may do nothing at all. Inferno too I will not buy With a rate of enchantment failure so high. I will not buy it from Calydor, I won’t go to the chamber door. Z’uthmerak would have to be the same, I can’t even spell the creature’s name. I could not buy from Usaris the Troll, Too many failures have taken their toll. I would not, could not, from Thorak with no chance to make my money back. Not from Apheriun in Exile, I’d rather do EBs for a while. I will not buy from Hawthorn the Wretched (by now that must have been expected). I will not buy from Moutos’ Orchard; This rhyme I created feels somewhat tortured. Enchanting items could be fun, but not the way this has been done. When it comes to aqua and inferno for me, I’ll take what I get from FOD. I couldn’t justify my money spent on an enchanting success rate of 15 percent.
Dear Poisonfang, We at the Daily KaW-KaW are always looking for improvement. Therefore, we accept your kind offer to bring improvement by granting you temporary fake intern status. Please write a fake news report in the Daily KaW-KaW style (avoiding offensive postings), and post it in the "Other KaW Discussions" forum with the following: "This is my offering, as a temporary fake intern, to be added to the Daily KaW-KaW. I, Poisonfang, take full responsibility for this posting and fully indemnify the Daily KaW-KaW." If your posting recieves good reviews and we find the content acceptable, we will include your fake news report in the official archive, and consider granting you status as a junior reporter. Please improve us. DK-K
Still thinking about what to write for the fake news report but I'll come up with something good i hope
The Daily KaW-KaW sponsored this for the rap, or the rap battle thread, whichever comes up first. think you’re Bad, noobs you’ve Hounded, while Surrounded by your friends, Better have Tried, now I Decide, when and If this ever ends Go back to your EB, so Scared of a Strip; I fought Naked for a Year, You Can’t Handle this trip. so run away, change your name, and hang your head in shame, then pop up in a forum, you’re a disgrace to the game. thinking that You’d get Support, from your Flock with this swivel, but your Stock hit the Floor, with this Chock mindless drivel. Have you met my little friend? it’s a pen, and all I need to spell your end. I’ll turn your Arguments Against you, I will Take you to school, Dope you off of your Soapbox, spin you Out of your Stool. I will Paste you and Waste you, make you Feel like a Tool. Fool. I’ll Steal you, Feel my Furious Fist of Force; your Tears fall on Deaf ears and out they Course, as you Plead to Sell your Kingdom For a Horse. and I will END you, SEND you STRAIGHT to HELL, in I-am-BIC-pen-TA-me-TER-as-WELL. And now your getting Fran-tic, Rhymes so pedDan-tic, while i’m Spitting fire Teasing and so Pleasing that it’s Tan-tric. Your verses so paThetic, like a human anesThetic, Are you a Stoner in a Coma, do I have to call a Medic? As you lie inErt, finally Free from Hurt, I’ll Dress you as a corpse, and Bless you with a Psalm, for it's no Miracle that you died Hysterical, facing the Lyrical, WRATH OF CALM. This space for Rent, or any other Broadway show.
To the tune of "Thrift Shop." (Had to take a few liberties with the internal rhythms) (Best if read with music in background) I’m gonna pot my stats Only got 5k in each department hit a bigger player, upgrade Titan’s Lair get my Phoenix Pauldrons. Start up the App, check the EB Clock, swipe my face to the marketplace in the KaW shop. Try’n to push my attack so Far that I’m ruthless, the players say “Damn, Bronze Bars are useless.” Start with the SDP get some Staff of Clarity Gotta skip the Canary Kicking up my allergies Dipped in my Zealot ring upgrade my Crimson Grieves But I can’t get a piece of the stuff I really need: Mithhhhhhhh But speakers are 99 cents. Summon Darkness, I’m toppin’ it, Bankin’ it and stockin’ it. gotta get a helmet, saw someone else blockin’ with it. but me im kickin stiff, rockin my soilerets spending all my money on nobility and maxin’ it. I’m going to town now Take the LB down now, no, for real, for $10, I’m the biggest dude around now. my bloodlust on, get the Leaders, hit it my BFA’s a pittance, didn’t notice my existence, damn it want to use some speakers I bought some useless speakers lookin’ at world chat only ads and child seekers. Hello Hello my EE got Cancelled They know they got nothing on my stable heavy Hansel. could go all caps lock, riff off a new page Forumheads would be like “Aw, he got the noob rage.” I better pimp my stats I’m getting target-ed by farmers looking for soul reaper, but keep on getting speakers, Wish I could just toss ‘em. I gotta pump my stats need to get money to buy allies but I keep forgetting, which pot I need for haunting, this is fricken’ awful. What you know bout rockin’ the Crown of the Red Sun What’s the fair market value on Basilisk Venom, i’m hittin, i’m hittin up through that battle list, til i tip strip on a clan really pissed thank your group dudes for protecting you noobs sittin, up hurts cause you hide up ‘neath their skirts. I’m giving goodwill you can hit my osf. I’m a I’m a keepa droppin Scroll of Death. Your bracers, your breastplate, your gauntlets, your chestplate, I’ll pay the toll Mage rate for the inferno rock that’s Phosphorus. the weaponhand enchanting the stocked diamondiferous, check Merriam it’s a real word I’m shocked Diamondiferous. They be like “you should be buying aqua for sure,” I’m like Yo, thats 5 crystals for like %80 failure. forgetting statistics we’ll use simple logistics, you’re payin $5 per aqua often fails and that just sick, Sheeesh I call that getting owned and stripped. Sheeeesh I call that feelin’ worse than a dip-stick, I need the aqua see? and its the same one I got hella free doing FOD. Come take a look at my Electric Storm Bow, level seven all the way and it cost me no dough. hella no dough Elven Shield, Magic Dags (9-yr old noob's voice) I’m gonna pump my stats I want the spoils from Epic Battles Failing Desert Sting, miss A Cold Calling too small so I lost ’em. I’ll buy angels of Light tower build’s dynamite my Defense out of sight why do I need troops to fight? I’ll get the Chaos Pack add .10 to attack more addictive than crack Wait here KaW shop, I’ll be back. I better save some cash spending more on KaW than my apartment fending off the specter, of the debt collector, This game’s fricken KaWsome. Brought to you from the Department of Thank Goodness That is Out of My Head.