Luckily for him, he has worn his magical cloak which ultimately saves him! He wrestles the girl to the floor, taking the knife off of her. “Good grief! What on earth is wrong with you?!” He exclaims furiously.
"You disgust me. Can't you see I have the body of a model? Do you think I'm some sort out fatty? No, I don't eat at all! How very dare you even offer a cake to me?" she sang in the voice of an angel. Then before he could say a single word, she whipped out a gag and stuffed it into his mouth and then tied him against a pole. Then she saw her reflection in the fairy's wand and realised that she hadnt re-done her make up! So she ran to the bathroom, ripped off her dress and stepped into the shower. She used Pantene Pro-V shampoo and conditioner, then she blow dried her hair and curled it the same way as before, then she applied waterproof mascara and eyeliner. Then with a touch of foundation her make up was over. Then she found a raunchy version of Mrs Claus' Santa Suit and put it on, along with knee length red high-heeled boots. When she stepped out of the bathroom she saw...
The knight and instead of feeling love for him she felt hatred and only wanted to do harm to him, so with her nails (which she had recently painted green) she scratched his face. Then she turned to the fairy and shouted "σπφντ δξδκρ Ψηφίσω!" and then smiled and said "Look at me, I have the voice of an angel, the mind and body of Aphrodite. Look at you, an overgrown fairy. Let's dance battle!" Then she whipped out her iPod Touch and played Swagger Jagger by Cher Lloyd. She was bopping her head like no one else and she was doing moves which the fairy couldn't even dream of doing. At the end of the song the girl whose name was Cheryl by the way, wasn't even slightly out of breath. But instead said "You're turn..". The fairy looked at her in disbelief and....
The fairy began to fume with hatred. It snapped its fairy fingers and the ground split open. Fire exploded towards the sky as giant fissures formed around them. Giant demons clawed their way out of the depths to the surface, each with glorious steel electric guitars and they began blasting Manowar's Dawn of Battle. The fairy opened it's mouth and began laughing like a maniac. Quickly it began mutating and growing into a superbad rock demi-God. It's head disappearing into the clouds. One giant big toe smashed down on top of Cheryl as her body popped like an insect under the foot of an over weight World of Warcraft addict.
Luckily, Cheryl's Mrs Claus' Santa suit protected her against the enormous weight of the fairy (thank goodness)! The fairy lifted her toe, expecting her to be dead, and saw Cheryl, her hair still beautifully curled and the only mark was a small speck of dirt on one of her high heeled boots. Cheryl raised one of her eyebrows at the fairy in disbelief. She slowly shook her head and then took a glance at her hand...
"OH HELL NO" Screamed Cheryl. Anger fumed around her body as she realised what the fairy had done. "YOU BROKE MY NAIL YOU _____!" she shouted. The fairy, scared by the pure anger of the girl, backed away and stopped her army of monsters from playing their guitars. Cheryl reached into her pocket and took out her mascara and smirked slightly saying "How about a make-over?". The fairy looked at her, having thought that Cheryl was going to attack her now thought kindly of the girl; never before had someone offered to make her up before. And so excited by the concept she flew over to where Cheryl was standing....
And then the Other Girl stepped in from the next room and banished all the violence. With an icy stare she muttered "Dismissal" and vanished the fairy. She annihilated the damage out and killed the rampaging evils while bringing in milder music.
Cheryl muttered something and sent the violent version of herself back into storage. After pausing time, reapplying her makeup, continuing time, healing the knight, and apologized, saying she'd gotten a promotion from guardian angel 22nd-elf to full guardian angel 22nd-elf, and had to exit continuity. She then whipped out her azure and emerald blade and flexed her newfound wings. "Duel me and I won't kick you off this damaged ship into another one with less angry fairy damage."
Meanwhile, the handsome Elijah stood frozen, his eyes popping out, jaw wide open. What in the world was going on? Monsters, fairies and demons! Pfft, such things don’t exist he told himself in the past, and yet here he was witnessing unforeseeable events that he couldn’t have dreamt up in his worst nightmare. His stomach turned inside out, still trembling in fear for all that he had seen. “Lord help me” he whimpered. Elijah was due back any moment now; all of his subjects were awaiting his return anxiously, however, here he was, stuck in the middle of a damned spaceship with a drag-like fairy and a rather beautiful girl, who in his opinion wore far too much make-up.
"I can read your thoughts you know you cow!" said Cheryl to Eliijah. "You may be a prince but I am godlike, look at me, I'm pure, look at you.. Yeah exactly. And by the way, I don't wear too much make-up, do you want to duel?" Eliijah, startled by the power and beauty of Cheryl nervously nodded his head. So once more Cheryl whipped out her iPod Touch and played "Empire State of Mind", then she stared the Dance Duel, she was break dancing and to Elijah, who wasn't familiar with technology was more interested in the glass in her hand which seemed to play music. Cheryl danced harder trying to get his attention but his gaze suck on the iPod. Then she asked herself, why did she want to get his attention, was it because she had feelings for him and didn't want to be ignored by him?....
Elijah was stunned by her response. Did she just compare herself to being godlike? Granted she’s attractive to the eye, but man, she sure has her head stuck up her butt! He loosened his tie and dusted off his Armani suit as he headed toward Cheryl with the ipod in his hand, both entranced and perplexed by this piece of technology. “well, miss, madam, uhh, yes...” All of a sudden, they felt a big jolt and tremor, he quickly grabbed Cheryl and...
Cheryl let him fall the ground. She curiously watched as the man had a heart attack, and giggled with excitement. Then got out her defibulator and brought him back to life...
The less impulsive side managed to take dominance and apologized again for her EXTREMELY impulsive multiple personality disorder. She waved her hand, dispelling the rapidly erupting weaponry the other sides were conjuring. Cheryl then inquired as to why a knight king was on her spaceship.
"So," Cheryl said gently with a smile,"why the ___ are you on this spaceship?" The knight, overwhelmed by the sheer beauty of the godlike being, was unable to speak and shuttered and shook nervously. "I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I d-d-d-on't-t k-k-k-k-k-k-now.." he forced out. "Then give me one good reason why I shouldn't cut you in two with my nails?" she taunted. "P-p-p-p-p-p-lease d-d-on't! Y-y-y-y-oure b-b-b-b-b-b-eautiful!" he pleaded. Cheryl looked at him, she shook her hair back and pouted into the distance as though she was in some sort of advert for a shampoo or something. The man was captivated by Cheryl's charms, so much so that he became to dribble. Cheryl looked down at the dribbling man and felt sorry for him, he had not been blessed like the gods like she, for she had the mind and body of Aphrodite and always looked stunning whereas he was more like, well, a peasant. He may well have been a prince where he came from but to Cheryl he wasn't so. For although she did kinda of like him, she didn't see him as special, yet.....
Cheryl realized that she was a prostitute. was upset that her body was so worn out by all those inanimate objects used over the years. she tied a noose around her neck and hung herself. the end
Luckily, that was what was thought to have happened as this story had been passed on from generation to generation, when actually; The knight..
Screamed very loudly as Cheryl stepped out behind a plant and muttered something about magic while banishing the persistent fairy and wondering as to why one of her more sadistic clone personalities had conjured itself to life. He threw a dagger at her and it cut her head clean off. Cheryl stepped out from behind a door and asked him "Why the ____ did you just kill me?!" and punched him.