Thanks Daf and Kill. Glad yall enjoyed it for what it was. Theres always gonna be a hater but Im used to those. lol the mighty can go tell Eminem and Wiz they dont rhyme either. This aint the cat in the hat over here bro. Times have changed. Its all about words you can make sound the same. Classic/napkin/sporadic/passive.
Front - i never said poems have to rhyme. Of course they dont! I just said that in this instance i found the mix between the two jarring. Static - im well aware of pronunciation. I am still struggling to see how some of your couplets can possibly rhyme though. 'Gray' and 'pain'? Also, as i have read your poem and not heard it, it sounds to me as i would read it, not how you might say it. That is an important distinction and impacts how the words are received by an audience
long A vowel sound also its kinda the same way someone could write: I need to stop the show/ and take my ass home/. It's the long O sound paired with the same syllable and letter count. Its just a puzzle bro. Thats all it is. Ppl cant do Rubiks but nobody knocks the guys that can.