Also, if you look closely at Irin's sensless drabbles there are not one, but TWO hints/spoilers/whatever you guys call 'em. They both lead to the same thing. Ask nicely and I'll tell you if you guess the right one.
GET OFF IRIN'S THREAD, JUSTIN. Before you go posting stupid stuff on her threads, do some research. Irin is a legend. Her stories are the greatest.
Huh...well. That's annoying. Not his comment, just the fact that I was so painfully close to having a story thread clean of all irrelavence. Alright, so you, Justin_Xander, did not want to read it. Would you mind explaining to me why that merited a comment? You don't want to read it, then I am perfectly fine with that. So either take a hike, or tell me what about my book turned you off by leaving HELPFUL feedback on the CORRECT thread. There really should be a law against stupidity. Feather, thanks for those kind words. Ella, SQUEEEEEEEE! and Thanks! =)
Law against stupidity, lol I was funny in december...a bit harsh too. Sorry! BUMP! Dude, I missed you guys!
Wow. Just wow. The quality of writing you possess is extraordinary. Although there were a fair share of misspelled words (easy fixes), it wasn't difficult to understand. One thing that I found different was that you had an excess amount of short sentences. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but maybe something to think about (I'm not sure if that was meant to coincide with the general theme of the story or not). You did a great job of really drawing the reader in. I personally kept wanting to read more! All in all, great job! And by the way, no one probably knows me since I barely ever post in forums, but I felt that this story deserved a review. Keep on writing!
Wow, thanks. I really appreciate the review. Yeah, spelling was absolutely never one of my strong points. I wrote this back when I was writing exclusively on my ipod and we all know how misguided the auto correct can be. The short sentences are mostly just part of my writing style, but at the present my main character is rather depressed and not really capable of complete thought. Also, short sentences are a writing device used much like music in a horror movie. They're *supposed* to create suspense, though I've also wondered if it really worked that way. Have you read the first book? If not, I do suggest reading it. It should clear some stuff up. I'll admit that being younger when I wrote that, the quality is not too good. I've started on the complete rewrite of that one but it's a bit slow going. It's called Innocence. I'll bump it for you, but it's completely up to you if you want to read it or not. If you do, a fair warning, the spelling mistakes are completely horrid. xD You should stop by the Writer's Cafe sometime. We're a friendly bunch, and most of us don't bite. Once again, thank's so much for the review. I could use all of the help I can get. -Irin Also, new chapter's heading up soon if anyone's intrested.
Um it's good but I just think u should add more action. She isnt really doing anything. Maybe she should find the ring is a stone? And up till like, the 11th post I didn't know her gender. I am not a hater this is just constructive criticism. It's very good though. Keep posting
You're welcome! And if I find some time, I will. Also, spelling isn't my strong point either, but generally I get lucky with words!
If u haven't read the first book it's confusing. If let's say it got published ppl might just read the second book but not have a clue whats going on. So maybe u should say a little about her at the start
@etak The action this is mostly what's been delaying this. I'm trying to get the flow right and it's just not working. I had this awesome scene planned that was going to be her snapping out of it and actually doing something but unfortunately it doesn't look like that's going to work. The thing about going back and describing her at the start is that, once again, it'll disturb the flow. That was mostly the purpose of the chapter with her dreaming about the ring and Niri and everything. To catch people up. That is something to think about though, and I will definatly take that into consideration. Thanks for the feedback! -Irin
@coldplay I don't think that's going to work but thanks for the suggestion. @ Stora, I'll try! You oughta write something too! I enjoy your stories!
Lol lazy and busy doesnt make me very motivated. I'm planning on starting during summer vacation which is 3 months from now
@irin If it gets published just dont make it seperate books some books have 'sections' that are like different books but there all connected to each other. That was you wont have to do much explaining at the beginning Ps. I just got back to KaW after a LONG unanounced break and rereading innocence and starting broken will be the first things i do your writing is awesome and i look foreward to it -ordo