Battle camp: The Rescue feedback

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by *lady-marian (01), Oct 8, 2010.

  1. Awwwwe poor chica we barely knew here
     
  2. Ive never read it but I think the title is great - Soren
     
  3. Shadow is an awesome character I like him the best and Syphony or however u say it is also a great character and so is [color=blueish-grey ] Wolf [/color]
     
  4. It's over. Sorry guys, you all died. If it helps, I cried when I wrote this. And im crying now.
     
  5. That was the coward's way out. Killing off everybody is too easy of an ending. next time try something more complicated.

    This was not one of your better chapters. The voice was not well carried, the description was poor after the broom closet scene, and you ended it too abruptly.

    2nd person is when you're talking to the readers, or during dialogue. an example woudl be like

    You may think that I did wrong, but you're wrong. You should know better than to think that this story would end happily, and I'm sure you've read enough books in which every ending is perfect."

    A few examples of this would be The Series of Unfortunate Events, when the author breaks off into telling you to put the book down, or The Book Thief in which death is talking to you and explaining things
     
  6. Sorry that was harsh, I just expected better out of you by now
     
  7. I'm not satisfied with the ending either. I just wanted to finish it. I think I'll try a few other endings and post the one I like best. Not today, I'm tired... Wait... Maybe today... Ugh my mind is so foggy!;(

    I didn't want to kill everyone at first... Maybe I'll try my first idea for an ending.
     
  8. I comepletely changed the ending! I hope you like this one better GlooMi!;)
     
  9. TO ALL FANS:

    I hope you liked the battle camp series! This is not the end of my writing on KaW, I will be posting a sign up either on Monday or Tuesday afternoon, so keep your eyes peeled for it!

    X's and O's,
    Lady
     
  10. Heh. Go Wolf. He's still alive. Can I make another character though?
     
  11. Well even if the story is over, I still gonna make another character named Wolf.
     
  12. For my next sign up? Umm... It might not be your style wolf... But then again, theres always the villans. I want to tell you more, but I can't!;)
     
  13. Either that, or I'll use my old name: Saix!
     
  14. Hey I is alive but where did I go
     
  15. Guess you'll never know!;)
     
  16. Did I go back to the futuredo I come back in the middle of a huge battle with a delorian machine gun and an awesome hot in the passenger seat