And the silence falls.

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by _ZE_Castiel_MP_, Apr 26, 2016.

  1. Well Kaw, this is it. I haven't played you in a while, and now all the people I would've picked a fight with are easily triple my size. There's no fun in that.

    But I gotta go out with a bang. One last brilliant flash of light before I fade into distant memory.

    So you get a story. It'll be a short one, I swear.

    It was January. 2013. I'd been surfing the app store again, looking for something to play. Nothing else held my attention for longer than a week. I stumbled across these three little letters and a pretty nice looking app icon in my recommended apps. Loaded it up, made my character. The whole "yoloswag" thing was big around then, and I despised it, so I decided on Yolocaust for my first name.
    Joined my first clan, pretty sure it was named Mystic Paladins. Made a good friend there before it fell through a week later. That friend told me to join my next clan, Dragon's Blade. I spent a few months there, doing slow growth on rocks and trolls. Had one incident with some PvP, which I bailed on because I was a fairy. Made some great friends there too, some of which are still active today. But it didn't last either. Fell through pretty quickly and left me hunting for a new home and something fun to do. I stumbled into Villains and Vixens a while later, and after a while met my true calling, although I didn't know it at the time. Mercs came in, saving us from a failing FoD. They were raunchy, they had mercettes, they were fun to be around. The chat was full of their amazing ads and banter. I loved them from the start, and started following them around on jobs, in between attempting to EE mere weeks before GH rose up and ruined it for low spy starter tanks. After I bailed on EE (more accurately, Skippyeddo told me to stop warring until my build worked for his strats) I was back on the train, trailing them everywhere and lurking in cc until Pbutter noticed me arriving at their jobs and told me to try and join the Legion. And after a small interview where they made sure I was, of course, 18 and not liable to start or bring problems I was allowed into the war clan, Mercs Legion. And it was amazing. The people were nice, talkative, all around just great to be with. And when I started a little "scuffle" with a player named Corsair the leader herself kicked me out and told me, if I can remember correctly, "beat him down and make sure he knows mercs aren't easy targets." So, I kinda had no choice. My future in my home was in jeopardy. I went clanless, pinned on quests until he slept, and then ran potted bars with the gold I'd made. Probably a good strategy, but honestly I didn't see how I'd win unless we both surrendered. So after a few days of trading hits like this I follow bombed him until he added me back and made peace. He would apologize to Lae for insulting our family, I would apologize to him for doing what I'd done. We went our separate ways, amicably I'd like to think. And I went back to my home with cheers from everyone for not backing down from a bigger account.

    It was pretty well uphill from there. Met my current boyfriend on the train, made more and more friends throughout our clans. I was pretty well integrated now and it was 99% my surrogate family at this point.

    But then, the RPL Vs. ML war. Surprisingly, it only drew me closer to everyone. Those that lasted were reliant on me, and I relied on them. I grew more and more in love with these people, this adopted family, with each passing week. Which made the next bit even harder. After a short break during some holiday, I returned to find a civil war. My clan was fighting every other family clan, my family was ripping each other apart. I cried out against it in the pal room, tried to sway leaders of every side to just let it return to the way it was. But no hope. The clans fell apart, my own clan went inactive slowly and the others were all isolated and broken. I left the Legion, and went on to be independent, or usually I'd take up an admin spot at B2B. The history gets a little fuzzy from here forward, probably because I wasn't very active. I had no drive to play. Most everyone I knew was gone or off on their own. The social aspect was really all there was for me, and that was dead now. I kept trying to come back, to integrate into a new clan or find a new family. But there was nothing for me. I just couldn't do it, couldn't find a place where I fit in as well as I had with the Legion. And finally, I'm done. I'm setting myself free from this constant pattern of checking and trying.
    To all of you who still remember Cas, never forget me. If you want to find me, ask LadySancho for directions, she'll begrudgingly share them before returning to introvertion.
    For the inevitable "reset or bs", I'm already going to file for it. Unless Grant or someone from support finds this first and decides to go ahead and take me down. I welcome it with open arms.

    Goodbye KaW. Its been hella fun these last 3 years, and I only wish it had stayed that way.

    Athena, Zodiac Elite, my old mercs and mercettes, everyone. You were all my second family. And I'm sorry.
    I'm sorry.

    Sincerely, and never forgetting,
    Never did find out what a merc was.
  2. Brought me to tears
  4. Great thread. I'm sure your mercs families are proud of you.
  5. Stories like this are what remind that Kaw isn't just a tap tap game but whatever you make it out to be. Other apps just don't produce the kind feeling and connection on a personal level that Kaw does.

    Good Luck in RL OP✌️
    Hope you take these memories of days long gone and cherish them for the happiness that they have brought once upon a time.
    l-_Lamb_Chop_-l likes this.
  6. Will sincerely miss that sense of humour Cas... Don't forget to hike that skirt up a little higher to get what you want, and don't take the easy way...

    All the best, and if you can't be good, be good at it.. Now excuse me while I deprive myself of oxygen..

    Good luck

  7. Gee, made me speechless. Beautifully spoken OP. Makes me think about my time there, how I've made a lot of mistakes and they still welcomed me only to get the news I decided to leave on my own.

    You made me realize how bad I've actually treated them.

    Good luck in RL sweetheart. I wish I got to know you better, you seem like a very nice and wise person <3
  8. I've been KaWing since 2011, and I have warm memories from those days, and I ran a clan and met a lot of cool people, and just those memories are crazy, but then I got banned on my account Mickey12345 for impersonating Spragga on the forums with some pretty cool bb codes. Then I got this account in 2013, and that's when I started striving. I grew pretty fast and nice. I was making my way up the leaderboard, and then the unnevitable hoarfrost, messed me up so bad. Didn't wanna play the game as much. Started growing more though then the lands after that came in 2015, and I was done but for some reason kept playing, and unfortunately spent more money. Now this year I went inactive for a month and came back to new lands, and went into forums and saw a post that people were dropping build, so out of rage and no will to play this game, I dropped build. Dropped hundreds of dollars maybe even a thousand. Now I'm just trying to rebuild after the damage, and try out a new build (used to be an attack build.)

    So yea. KaW memories hurt...
  9. Makes me wanna be a Merc... lol

    P.s (yea right)
  10. Been a while since we've run into each other, but good luck and enjoy rl..
  11. Good luck OP.
  12. Silence will fall when the question is asked.
    Silence must fall when the question is asked.
    Queen_Sancho likes this.
  13. I know we said our goodbyes at the time you left, but I am only reading this thread now. I know how it is to be so connected to a clan family and never feeling that connection again. I am fairly positive if I were to walk away from Zodiac Elite it would only be to walk away from Kaw itself. Thank you so much for all you brought to our family during your time with us and for choosing us to spend your later kaw time with. I wish you nothing but the best always- xoxo
  14. 😭😭 I have sadly lost contact with Cas and its soo upsetting. I didn't even realize this was posted.