Dear Forum-Noobs, I would like to give you this piece of unsolicited advice when foruming. First of all, please note that I am using this term in the best sense possible. As a definition, I would say a forum noob is a player who finds more joy in reading and making threads instead of actually playing the game. Since their actual knowledge of the game is quite limited, they tend to make threads about just about any mundane subject: Japanese dogs, how to play the french horn, their latest homework assignment, and why Muslims are, darn-it, just sooo nice people. In short, if 90% of the threads you make are in the off-topic category, you are a forum noob. Now, there is nothing wrong with forum noobs. In fact, if they are careful, a forum noob could go on to live a long productive life. Problems occur, however, when these forum noobs run into war threads. It might be hard to believe at times, but KaW is actually a war game. And in war games, believe it or not, some people might actually try and make a war thread in the forums. War forums serve many purposes. They keep the community informed, and act as tools to either negotiate peace or insight a battle. In short, war threads can be darned entertaining for people who actually like to war. On the other hand, war threads can be places where tempers get a little short. Please remember, forum noobs, that people in off system wars and often very angry and a bit stressed. You see they probably woke up one morning to find a half-year's of ally building stripped away in smoke. Have you ever been stripped a few trillion in allies? Well it feels something like this: Now people who have been stripped enough gold to buy a K-car are not level headed thinking people. They are as mad as hell and want to pull their opponent's lower lip over their heads. That is why they post things like this: "You brain-dead horse-bleeper! I'm gonna cut off your retarded little bleep, stick it in a blender and make you drink it along with the rest of your bleep." This is standard war thread fare and no surprise to the seasoned OSW warrior. However when forum noobs mistakenly click on a war thread and see this, they often have this reaction : What should you do when this happens to you? Well, a good forum noob should go and press the Home button in the lower left corner. This button will take you out of this dreadful thread so you can go on searching for that thread about your favorite shade of nail polish. What you ABSOLUTELY MUST NOT DO, however, is press the Reply button in the upper right hand corner. Terrible things happen when forum noobs make replies in war threads. For example, they end up writing garbage like this: Threatening to snitch to the devs is the worst thing you can ever do in a war game. It is the act of the most vile creature in KaW: the mod-wannabe. Mod-wannabes are "players" who have been turned down as mods, mostly because they have absolutely no idea how to play the game. However, instead of giving up, they get the idea they could still become a mod if they act really annoying and tattle-tale about to the devs about every little thing they see in the forums. In the process they end up ruining the fun for all the true warriors who ever enjoying an nice little butthurt rant in the forums. In short, I would like to encourage all the forum noobs to play fair. If we let you have your forums about why Moose is your favorite mod, PS3 vs Xbox, and when neon spandex will make a comeback, let us real warriors have our butthurt mental breakdown threads. And above all, don't go around threatening to cry and whine to the devs, because, as the great philosopher Tom Hanks once said:
Can't help but laugh at the title of the very next thread made after mine: "what's your favorite recipe?"
Good god. I've upset people in this forum before, but this just takes butthurt to a whole, new level. I'm really flattered you'd go to all these lengths just for me. The good grammar, excellent formatting, and even PICTURES!! How long did this rage take you to write? This hate thread gets: 10/10 It really made my night. I'm actually pleased I've pissed you off this badly. Get used to a whole lot more of me. :mrgreen: Yours Truly, Phil's Forum Noob :lol:
Hm... Nice job Phil. I've seen a lot of crazy posts withhin the last few threads about the current OSWs. I refrain from posting in any of these threads since I have no business giving my opinion on a war I'm not fighting.
I can only see two reasons for making this thread: 1. I've gotten under your skin so badly, you just couldn't help yourself. You hoped you'd find something to say to cut me deep enough to want to leave. 2. I've gotten under your skin even more badly that you knew there was nothing you could do, so you hoped you'd be able to create a bandwagon of people against me in hopes that I'd be shamed out of forums. You never know - one of them might work. :? Seriously, good luck with that. I'll leave when The Jersey Shore is shown on public television in North Korea. :lol:
@anarchy Asking someone for a sandwich can hardly be considered sexism. Either way, this game is 90% male, and considering the bikini blonde in the load screen, being anti-sexist is obviously not a big concern for the devs.
@cheese Why all the ranting? Your name is not even mentioned in the thread. Also, no one is asking anyone to leave.