A Raven Among the Doves: Feedback

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by *iPimella (01), Apr 13, 2011.

  1. Smackdown time!

    Iiiin this corner returning from his long vacation and his attempted rehab for KaWcaine... I ZAAAALN


    And in this corner, Mistress Lazy, queen of the drowsy... IIIIITS IRIIIIIN
     
  2. No, no smack downs! I am a pacifist. A pacifist who plays war games and writes war related stories...but a pacifist none the less.
     
  3. Lies. Irin is very violent. Probably one of the most violent people I know.

    iZaln
     
  4. What! No, I'd never...so...maybe I have some anger issues...but...okay, yeah, I can get violent sometimes....
     
  5. Sometimes? Honey, I'm pretty sure it's more like usually lol.

    iZaln
     
  6. What's wrong lol?

    iZaln
     
  7. I'm still expecting a prologue zaln
     
  8. 

    MWA HA HA HA

    downright evil right?
     
  9. Nice, Mystique! At first I thought it was getting a bit repetitive, but then I realized it was a suspense builder. Greed job! Moar soon!
     
  10. Greed job? I beg to differ. Lol someone's very into the vices =O

    I like how you introduced the characters, nice and easy way. And Anala's sense of... Romance leaves a bit to be wondered. Was she into Zac, her last long-time friend? Or is there someone else? (Of course it's later in the story dont tell me.) And two Alexes? haha.

    iZaln
     
  11. Alex squared?
    Lol!
     
  12. You're keeping me on edge! I can't wait to see what happens next!
     
  13. @Stora
    She's gonna push you off the edge :0

    iZ
     
  14. Mystique isn't that mean!...Right?...
     
  15. Don't worry, I have a video camera. Just stay that the edge. I'll catch footage of when she pushes u and upload it to YouTube, so on your way down, you pull out ur iPod and watch. See? All happy-do 

    iZaln
     
  16. Um I think I'll be too busy screaming... Couldn't you help me or something? Like get a net?
     
  17. Mmm... How about a ginormous moon walk thingy?! U can bounce!

    iZ
     
  18. Uh sure, better than crashing