A Foot Print In the Sand

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by *arimay (01), Aug 22, 2010.

  1.  the best way to improve is practice!
     
  2. My nails look aesome! I just gt done with them!
     
  3. I walk into my mothers car and she starts the car and backs out of the driveway.
    "Mom, I can't go out now. I'm wearing pj's." I say leaning my head on the window staring out.
    "Do you want this thing to really hurt you? Because I don't." she says turning down the road.
    "I don't want it to really hurt me either, where are we going?" I ask lifting my head to her.
    "Church, but if you think this is just a symptom...like a fever or somthing than we can turn around and head back home." she says turning her head to me.
    "No, keep going." I say laying my head down again. I start to cry.
    "Oh sweetie, it's okay we will get this out of you. I promise." se said rubbing my back.
    "Not only that but you don't believe me." I say rubbing my puffy little eye lid.
    "Well, your crying that tell me your not fakeing so, I believe you now." she said to me still rubbing my back she soon stopped to put her hand on the wheel. We drive and drive and than we park in the lot.
    "Ready?" she asks, I nod.
     
  4. Lacks vocabulary use more lucrative words so i can feel special reading this and try not making person to quote specification mistake when you was referring to the teacher i didnt know it was a teacher you referred to her as short lady. My rating for It being compared to other top rank novels and books

    D+

    Theres alot to improve on constructive critism was gonna give it D but im nice.
     
  5. Uhh wow gee thx i didnt even say i wanted a reveiw 
     
  6. I stumble into church afraid as hell. I walk in and take a seat with mom. She leans in and says father of the son and the holy spirit. I do the same, and try to pay attention as much as possible. Through uplifting stories my body started to heat again. I made it through without a sound though. After church we both walked up to the priest. He was wearing his white robe and holding his hands together.
    "Excuse me father Jacob?" I say in a small scared voice.
    "May I ask you somthing? Over there? In private?" he nods and leads me into a room full of robes.
    "What can I do for you?" he asks very friendly.
    "Well I think I have somthing in me. Like a posesive thing in me. A lost spirit perhaps?" I say very quietly anxious for an answer.
    "Well, we can banish it by leading it to God. Maybe we can do an exorsism? Soon?" he asks than continues,
    "I have an appointmen tomorrow with somone else. She is very sick so I need to bless her. How's tomorrow at about twelve o'clock?" he asked me very warm and gently. I nod and say thank you. That day I felt a source of radiance upon me. I felt so open to the world. Or maybe that day somone was just giving me a wiff of the fresh air from heven? I truly didn't know? Even if it was true I would never deny it because it just felt so good. I couldn't wait. My heart started to pump and all I wanted to do is jump in the air and sing happy tunes. I couldn't wait to get this thing out of me.
     
  7. Please read and comment I'm going to sleep peace!
     
  8. Newberry award material here
     
  9. Ohhhh shiney!!!!!
     
  10. Awww not comments
     
  11. I like this alot keep going with it!!
     
  12. I'll be posting more of it tomorrow
     
  13. Guys im taking a long break from kaw i have to straighten things in my life ill continue my story when i get the chance
     
  14. lie i cant stop playig kaw so bak to the usual
     
  15. More story plzzzzzz it's so good
     
  16. The next day I set my clock to ring about ten o'clock in the morning. I woke up and got dressed and quickly ran to the bathroom to brush my teeth and hair. He soon pressed the door bell telling out a loud ring. I ran down the stairs to open the door.
    "Good morning father Jacob." I say holding the door tightly. He comes in and says good morning back.
    "So, where is your room?" he asked and I led him to it.
    "Okay I want you to calmly lay on you bed. And I'll get your mother." I nodded than my mother soon came. The priest told me to close my eyes and join hands than he said that we should say the our father.
    "Our father who arte in heven hallow be thy name thy kindom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heven give us this day our daily bread and give us our trespass as lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil, amen." after saying that the priest told us that he will bring God to us. He said,
    "God in our time of need please help us get through this. We need you and are desperatly asking for your help, please help us, amen." I listened to him with my eyes closed gently and laying down calmly. I felt him put somthing on my heart it felt as the shape of the cross. My heart started to heat once again. And I started to breathe deeply. I felt as if somthing traveled down me and gave me warmth and comfort. I could tell I fell asleep and started to dream, about Declan. I layed in him arms as he played with my hair. I watched as the snow fell from the blazing sun and onto the ground. I felt a tear slip down my cheak and after a couple seconds of silence, I heard Declan say, don't do this your going to hurt me! I woke and screamed you can do this to me Declan is back.
     
  17. Please comment
     
  18. Comment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  19. This story is great I'm opening a thread called the shadow awakes plz read it I'll read yours