I liked hers better. It had a certain something "more", ya know? Maybe if you broke it up into several threads....
Thanks cheese! The King Lear phrases I used where Shakespeare referenced the king's three daughters (the bear, the lion and the belly pinched wolf) is the premise of my story.. The three sons (The man at the station, the man in black on the train... And the Werewolf on the train roof) are coming together to settle their scores after their father's death is what I was envisioning..
Wow you should continue this story or poem I guess it's a really great story or poem or whatever you want to call it