HILLARY OR TRUMP? TEST TO SEE WHO YOU WILL BE VOTING FOR!

So.. The 5 ring circuses of the Elephant and the Donkey are coming to their last acts, and it look like Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton will go head to head for the president of the United States of 'Murica..


Well now.. Since these are whom the respective parties have put forth as their best candidates, the question you gotta ask yourself is..


OMG those are my two choices?!!!!






Fear not dear reader.. Yours truly the trusty and loveable and polite Canadian Hoser (That's me.. Ashes), will guide you through a series of self questionnaires..

Deep down in your inner psyche...

...whether you are likely to vote for Clinton or Trump..


The test is simple.. Answer the following multiple choice questions, write down your honest answers and points associated with them.. And your tendencies will be magically revealed to you at the end of the quizz based on your total score..

So..

Ready to jump into the political cesspool of border walls and private email servers?

Let's go..



Qualifying Question: This is to test if you are an American..

What is George Washington doing in this painting?



A) Crossing the Potomac to hit some Xmas deals at that big ass Outlet Mall

B) Crossing the Delaware cos traffic was jammed up on the Arlington Bridge

C) Crossing the Potomac to chop down some Cherry trees

D) Crossing the Delaware on Xmas night to lay some surprise! WhupAss on some Hessians

E) I thought this was an impressionist painting of one of his Sunday picnics?




If you have answered anything but D, get outta here!...

Ok now that we got that out of the way..

Answer these topical questions as if you are the elected leader..


Question 1: (Defense) Which would you increase Defense budget for?

A) Moar Nukes! ( The great Ronald Regan brought the old Soviet bloc down by out spending on nukes till the Commies went bankrupt.. That North Korean punk kid will be taken down the same way). 10 points

B) Gargantuan Aircraft Carriers that are bigger than the islands the Chinese have been land filling in the South China Sea. 8 points

C) Rail-Gun.. That is one of the wicked weapons that the great Ronald Regan called for in his Star Wars plan.. Now we have the technology stolen from Tesla cars. 6 points

D) Drones.. Cos it's too messy to put "Boots on the ground". 4 points

E) Increase?!.. The world is at peace.. We should be decreasing that budget. 2 points

Question 2: (Jobs) Which jobs would you bring back to the US?

A) Addictive MMORPG mobile game making that some Apes from Canada started. 10 points

B) iPhone manufacturing.. That's some top secret technologies we're leaking here. 8 points

C) Call Centers.. Enough with those accents! How did I call for home internet support and end up with another credit card!? 6 points

D) Canada Goose Down Jackets.. That's American Goose.. They only fly up to Canada during the summer vacations. 4 points

E) E-Mail hosting services. 2 points


Question 3: (Diversity) What is your favourite Mexican food?

A) Quarter Pounder with Cheese. 10 points

B) Taco Bell 3 cheese Burritos. 8 points

C) Tequila with Lime and Salt. 6 points

D) Montezuma's Revenge. 4 points

E) Chimichangas!. 2 points


Question 4: (Foreign Policy) Which country would you invade and why?

A) North Korea. Kimchee don't surf! 10 points

B) Iran. Those swanky Malls in Dubai must be protected. 8 points

C) Russia. Putin has to be Putin his place. 6 points

D) Canada. Those people are just too damn polite

E) We don't invade countries. We will just deny them Netflix access


Question 5: (Healthcare) What is your favourite TV show?

A) Breaking Bad. 10 points

B) The Walking Dead. 8 points

C) Game of Thrones. 6 points

D) Containment. 4 points

E) Julian Fellows presents Doctor Thorne. 2 points


Question 6: (Equality) What would be the next letter you would add to LGBTTIQQ2S?

A) C for Catfish. 10 points

B) C for Confused. 8 points

C) C for Conspicuous. 6 points

D) C for Cybergender. 4 points

E) C for Communal. 2 points


Let's take a hawt Mexican break..


Continuing on!

Question 7: (Domestic Policy) Who do you think is Hawt?

A)


10 points

B)


8 points

C)


6 points

D)


4 points

E)


2 points


Question 8: (Balancing the Budget) What is the most recent thing you bought?

A) The latest iPhone.. Duh. 10 points

B) AR-15 with DBAL-I2 sights. 8 points

C) Nobs on Sale on KaW!. 6 points

D) Payment for my Student Load debt. 4 points

E) That new Tesla car that no one has even seen yet.. Duh. 2 points


Question 9: (Administration Team) Who is on your Zombie Apocalypse Team?

A)


10 points

B)


8 points

C)


6 points

D)


4 points

E)


2 points

Question 10: (Immigration) When was the last time you saw an illegal immigrant?

A) The Mexican who gave me a Brazillian. 10 points

B) The ladyboy at the stripjoint. 8 point

C) The guy who hooked me up with a jailbroken gold iPhone. 6 point

D) That super smart lady who's tutoring my ADHD kid. 4 point

E) When I asked the maid for extra shampoo bottles at the hotel. 2 points


Bonus Question: What will you do to make America Great again?

A) Make some insane Trade deals while pissing everyone off. 10 points

B) Invade all the troublesome countries and sell them American goods (Like Hollywood Movies) 8 points

C) Tax the Rich more to bring universal healthcare and create more high technology jobs. 6 points

D) Introduce Bills that the GOP majority senate would never pass. 4 points

C) Repeat the last 8 years. 2 points

------------------------------------------


There you have it folks!.. Tally your scores..

If your total score is:

81-100: You'll be voting for Trump

61-80: You will be voting for Trump and blaming him for your bad decision

41-60: You are smart and sane,but you won't be voting and hence, letting the other idiots decide for you (Go out and Vote!)

21-40: You will be voting for Hillary but blaming the Republican Senate Majority for not getting anything done (of your agenda), like Obama was

0-20: You will be voting for Hillary

I leave you with more Mexican hawtness

 

We interviewed Abraham Lincoln and here's what he has to say..