Listen up US Democrats! It’s time for me to give you a kick in the ass! (Hehehe) It’s time for you to pull your self up from the beat down you took last election and rather than being caught in the 5 cycles of grief over and over again, you start focusing on moving forward.. and it starts with.. Pick winnable leader(s) that can win the office of the President next election(s) and start supporting them First.. let’s understand the competition.. here’s the deal.. the elephants are WAY ahead of you.. And I don’t just mean with He who shall not be named with the nuclear button in the office right meow.. I mean, they got the next candidates for the future starting to get lined up (In media, image/brand recognition etc).. Here.. check this example.. “Do you even lift bro?”... Yes.. Yes he does.. See? Paul Ryan.. that dude just screams JFK for the instagram age.. Here.. ladies.. get lost in his dreamy eyes or the dimples, or the widow’s peak.. Still with me?... Good.. Cos that’s the enemy!! See.. while “He who shall not be named” is hogging all the media limelight, the elephants are quietly establishing the brand and image of future candidates in the public consciousness.. Hell.. that dude is even on KaW!! Paul Ryan telling you to go collect event items! I’m not done yet... Don’t like to stare at dreamy dudes for your President? How about.. Kristi Noem from South Dakota! A moderate Republican President that’ll wear leather boots up the Capitol Hill? Hell Yea I’d vote for her.. Ok.. so.. the elephants are a couple of steps ahead of you while all that you donkeys have at this moment is “Feel the Bern!”.. which is becoming so 2016.. Something needs to be done here.. but have no fear.. for in this thread, I shall walk you through potential Democratic candidates that you can start supporting on.. Shall we? I will cover the spectrum from far left to centrist left.. Candidate #1: Oprah Winfrey Spectrum: conservative democrat Pros: She can leverage her wealth and brand just like “He who shall not be named” did.. She’s got great business sense, can connect with masses.. Cons: Campaign Trail can be tough on your diet Slogan: “Save me Oprah!” Candidate #2: Justin Trudeau *On loan from the Canadian People Look you need to fight fire with fire.. Justin can Out-Dreamy Paul Ryan and can beat him up in a boxing ring.. We (the polite people of Canada) will gladly loan you our poster boy in exchange for better NORAD Cos we all know that with the sophistication that the other “He who shall not be named” got, he might lob a Nuke at Seattle and it might land in Vancouver.. Candidate #3: Anastasia Ashley What’s more American than Sun, Sand and Surfing!?... Anastasia can make big waves and surf them.. for real.. And I tell ya.. Surfing culture is one of the most civilized democratic social systems in the world... like everyone knows and follows the three “F’s” Furthest Out, Furthest Inside and First to Feet.. Campaign Song: “Good Vibrations” by the Beach Boys Candidate #4: George Clooney Democratic Party needs to start winning the hearts and minds of the grassroots American rural folks again.. and who better to tap into the folksy psyche of the America than the Soggy Bottom Boys!? They already got the catchiest campaign trail song! Seriously.. start preparing George, just like the elephants did with Ronald Regan... oh also, to show solidarity with Mexico and win the Hispanic votes.. Get Salma Hayek as Vice President!! How many people saw George Clooney in the gif above? Candidate #5: Senator Tulsi Gabbard: Hawaii A minority woman senator who served in combat zone in Iraq?.. What more can the Democratic Party want for their candidate??? 29th Support Battalion, Medical Company Represent! So there you have it.. at least THINK about who you want to represent as your leader... remember...voting is not just about whining about the candidates that show up on your ballot.. democracy is also about finding and supporting a leader who will effect the mandate of the masses the best. Save me Oprah!!! Save me Tom Cruise!! ️
Wow dude.. you’re going all the way back to the Federalist Party which in a way are the early version of the Democratic Party.. Hammi (I’m gonna call him that cos in modern day you go by a slick nickname) was solid.. central bank.. good trade relations.. empowered executive branches to administer specific focus.. But he’s long gone.. How about Alexandra Diddario instead?
100% Diddario 100%. If I could go more than 100% that’s where I’d live....with Mrs D ofcourse. I actually came on to celebrate yet another Ashes masterpiece but now I’ve quite forgotten what I was going to say and instead have a silly grin on my face. Either way thanks Ashes
Chubby... dude.. I call Birtherism on CAMACHO Besides.. we all know who your candidate is.. She can dance, quote Yeats, and run a Pub.. Kristie Alley!
Umm.. you didn’t really read the words I typed in the thread did you?.. I don’t blame ya.. I got distracted too
Vince McMahon! Ok ok.. to safeguard this thread from the Republican trolls.. if you are thinking of suggesting folks in the following list.. you’re meddling with a democratic process! “Republican” list... Snoke Elsa Ironman Ted Nugent Alexa (Yes That Amazon) That creepy dude that pops up in transmute screen and also gave us the tarot cards Applejack from My little pony; Friendship is magic Cersei Sailor Mars Mew Two That black horse in our furnishings And... The Mage..