Ok; my fist fan fiction piece :3 it's a *short* story. Feedback appreciated And don't steal mah work plz The tiger's eye glistened, reflecting the pale moonlight. Through the bushes the deer slowly and gracefully craned it's neck downwards, it's eyes darting back and forth, it's nose twitchingly probing the air. Even slower, the tiger began to crouch, it's muscles tensing, it's eyes fixed firmly on it's prey. The perfect stillness was broken momentarily, as the parakeet fluttered over too their position, it's exotic and foreign call alarming a baby zebra in the nearby pool. It galloped away in fright, in an ungainly canter through the forest back into the plains. The tiger gazed intently as the deer stiffened, sensing possible danger, but didn't flee. Once again, the deer began it's slow and gentle nibbling of the sweet grass, the only perceivable sound through the background hum of insects and the slight rustling of the trees in the wind. Salivating, the tiger crouched even lower and prepared to spring. It's tail flicked slowly, back and forth, a lazy metronome counting down the remaining seconds of life. Suddenly, a bright bird, startled by an alien presence, rocketed to the air, it's harsh screams of alarm echoing into the forest. Time seemed to slow as several things happened at once. In mere nanoseconds the deer tried to spring up and away in panic, but tumbled as sharp cracks of gunfire shattered the peace. The tiger- eyes rolled back and jaws wide open leapt- a sleek effortless movement, and caught the deers neck firmly in it's jaws. There was no respite. Again the harsh blasts of gunfire tore through the forest. Birds screeched and lamented coarsely as their wings fought to bare them to safety, while the bugs and insects scurried and burrowed away into deeper, damper darkness. Even the shoals of small fish unanimously darted down and away into shallow depths of the pool. The acrid stink of gunpowder dispersed into the fresh, clean air in much the same way as oil acts when poured into water. The accompanying sounds of hooting manic laughter made the startled silence deepen. the forest seemed to shiver, and that night the sky broke apart in sorrow, mourning the destruction to come. [possibly too much description and idk if changing tense like I do sounds professional] Anyway Thanks if you read this, I hope I translated the images in my head to the page effectively
Actually, can you go give that Celestia person who wrote "Kinapped" some lessons on how to write? :lol: She needs them.
Shut up Smexy -.- I don't I can write better without knowing I'll get a ***** comment from u! I've written good stories put in the real world
Ceres. You can't write a simple hate message without grammar errors. You can't write stories, but you need to plagiarize to feel popular. MAKE SAMMICHES FOR WRITER'S CAFE FOR LIFE! >;D
From fire to... Smoke billowed up into the sky above, the deathly still day causing the smoke to loom above the Forrest, a barrier shutting out the heavens. Below, the fire raged, leaping hungrily from bush too tree, it's flames eagerly consuming all life. "Behold, the power of nature!" A hunched figure guffawed, eying the mayhem with barely concealed glee. Scattered around him, the others snickered, shuffling slightly back as the flames suddenly grew closer. The heat was almost unbearable, but their intoxicated states made them ignore their screaming sub-consciouses. The sight of destruction drew them in, kept them hooked on the bright yellow flames, the stinging of smoke in their eyes giving them savage pleasure. They lounged there, drawing in the death and destruction, exalting in the smells of charred flesh and ash. The fire had started too quickly and from too many points of origin for most of the animals to survive. Yet, against all seeming odds, a young deer, not yet fully grown, had managed to avoid the worst of the inferno. Being shorter than most, she avoided the worst of the toxic smoke for longer. Yet time was taking it's toll. The lack of oxygen weakened her, and the blinding smoke obstructed her keen eyes, and infiltrated her sensitive nose with odours of toxic fire and burned flesh. Flames were everywhere, it seemed the very sky was on fire, the falling ash and burning debris above her, and scalding flames to the left and right. The ground was littered with dead smaller animals, corpses so ravaged by flames they were unrecognisable other than the smell. She desperately skittered round a falling tree, its burning branches just missing her. She stared at it briefly, watching the flames try in vain to reach her. Looking back for signs of escape, she saw in amazement as a slight wind blew the smoke away for a second, revealing a clearing in the distance. With one last push, she sprinted forward, the adrenaline pumping through her, burning muscles ripping, ignoring the ash falling on her back which had once been soft fur. She flew through the forest, her lungs frantically working to exhale the toxins and inhale the increasingly fresh clean air. She had made it! In triumph she stopped for a moment to catch her breath. "Look.The barb-e-cue has come to us!" Her senses came back to her too late. This was no safe place. Mind fogged with terror, she tried to flee, but realised to her horror her muscles were locked in place, worn by fatigue, only managing a pitiful stumble before collapsing sideways. The figures closed in on her, and the sharp smell of sweat and excitement, tinged with the smell of death and poison, overwhelmed her. She tried to cry out, but only mewed hoarsely, her voice raw with pain and fear. The fire cast the figures shadows as contorted flickering shapes, distorting them into twisted beings writhing separate from their hosts. The smell of sickness became overwhelming. She screamed so hard her broken voice made it inaudibly high as they poured the poison on her burned tender body. Flames leapt up from within the circle, any sounds of the deer's continuous screams covered by the hysteric and maniacal laughter. Yeah, how quickly does it get too disturbing, from 'beautiful'... May have errors, open to criticism.
Lmao. Btw if it was tl;dr for any of you lazy ppl story Is (yes I am talented at art too, who knew )