Separate names with a comma.
It's just me being nitpicky. Otherwise, like I said. I like it.
Yeah. It's the part after Stora saddling the horses.
Pretend that I remembered to put a space after the bbcode...
You go from third person, to: And then back to:
Feather! Come out and clarify for us how nice the chair was. :|
Yeah, I'm aware. Just... No.
I'm not sure about complete lack of suspicion, because it bothered him that Stora tortured Pimella on his chair. Or maybe that was just the fact...
… Eagle...
It's a possibility. Nah, no offense Stora, but you're bipolar. :D
Stora's character seems bipolar. Why is it that everything associated with Stora is bipolar? Gah.
HE'S BEEN DRUGGED BY PIMELLA! :D Nah... If you suggested it it's probably not true. Just saying.
No, no. I don't mean character Stora, I mean Stora. Anyways, you mentioned my use of adjectives twice.
CONSPIRACY. I TOLD you guys that Stora was evil. xP The last two or three paragraphs were weak, Feather. The rest was spectacular.
She's evil. I told you so. o.o RUN AND HIIIIIIIIIIDDEEE!!! On a different note, anyone on pc that can check my join date and post count?
I HAVE UNCOVERED STORA'S EVIL PLOT D:< RUN WHILST YOU STILL CAN!!!!
Hey ric~ Although this is actually the appropriate thread for drawings/sketches, I agree with buckeye. (Not that FF is ****... That it should be...
Very good analogy, eagle... o.e
Personality and bipolarness go hand in hand.
Your narrator seems kind of moodswingy. xD And, now that I think of it, a tad ADHD. But who isn't? Lol.
Minor grammatical errors and typos, I think. Going to reread and see if there's any comments I have on the actual story. :3