I shall now post 1 of the three poems that has kept me away from KaW so you may all find it in your hearts to forgive me for my absence. Nah, jk. I just wanted some feedback. XD Gotta warn you though. It's a bit morbid. And it doesn't have a title. And it may or may not be finish. And you may or may not think I'm crazy after you read. But most of you think that anyway...soooo... Who are you to tell me, Who I am inside? Who are you to show me? Whose rules must I abide? Who are you to care? Who are you to see? Who are you to choose? When will you set me free? You never said you loved me. You never thought to give, You never shared a reason why You thought this thing should live. You never told a soul, You never helped me out, You never shared your secrets, You made me want to shout. I hate your old blue truck, I hate your stupid lies, I hate your guilty smirk, And your made-up alibis. I hate your mad abuse, I hate your stash of beer, I hate your angry words, And your eyes that make me fear. Why can't you call me pretty? Why can't you stop the hate? Why can't you keep from pushing me Away from my real fate? Why can't you say you love me? Why can't you walk away? Why do you even want me? Please don't make me stay. Please don't call me worthless, Please don't hold me down, Please don't take advantage, Of me and all I've found. Please don't keep me here. Please don't hit my face. Please don't make me broken. I need to leave this place. -8/15/11
A song I wrote after reading Irin's poem I call it Cake: What can you do when you're helpless? Left alone and in harm's way When your life is lost and lonely Living life just day by day Gone are all the happy people Gone the cheer and gone the smile Going to the darkened window Just to sit there for a while Always gone and always lost Never here and at a cost I ask what more can you take? Life's no piece of cake. When I was younger I was careless Let them win and left me changed All my heart and its ambitions The damage? Well it ranged For my heart was crumbling Soul was shattered Nothing saved me Nothing mattered Body whole but mind so broken Nothing left in me for hopin' Always gone and always lost Never here and at a cost There is nothing left to take Life's no piece of cake Now I'm back, but still unstable But my love for you is breakin' You no longer hold my heart But why am I still shakin' Now the loveliness is absent Gone the fairy dust and magic No more flowers no more pain Yet how I dream of you is tragic Forever gone forever lost Dreaming here but at a cost Still, I won't let you take Life's MY piece of cake
Erm... Can I get some feedback on this poem? It's a bit... Well, you'll see. Think about yourself: What do you care about? You care about yourself You are so self-centered You might think you care about others Think you care about their feelings Care about me But in the end It all boils down to you Doesn't it? Think about others: What do they care about? They care about themselves They don't care about you They can pretend Just like you pretend But they don't care about you Don't care about your feelings Care about me Because it's all about them Isn't it? Think about me: What do I care about? I care about you, right? I must, you think But your wrong I'm just as self-centered as you I don't care about them Don't care about their feelings Care about you I can't because I'm just like you Aren't I? 8-14-2011