World War IV feedback

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by cheesecake71, Oct 19, 2011.

  1. Why can't ppl just post it on the actual story thread?
     
    #1 cheesecake71, Oct 19, 2011
  2. Because it ends up looking like spam, thus making your story look like crap.

    It's a good story, btw. Just needs a little more... I dunno, life to it.
     
    #2 cheesemuffin, Oct 19, 2011
  3. Nice start. I think you need to expand more, and describe characters more. What are like? Appearance? Yada yada like that. And use more chat.
     
    #3 Bremen, Oct 19, 2011
  4. Ok
     
    #4 cheesecake71, Oct 20, 2011
  5. Really? Nothing?
     
    #5 cheesecake71, Oct 21, 2011
  6. Your name is horrible.
     
    #6 Renatum, Oct 22, 2011
  7. That wasn't exactly the type of feedback I was looking for, but I've been looking to change it without resetting. Can't afford it because I don't trust online purchases of nobility and stuff
     
    #7 cheesecake71, Oct 22, 2011
  8. Then you're dumb.
     
    #8 Eagleking, Oct 22, 2011
  9. ...
     
    #9 cheesecake71, Oct 22, 2011
  10. Who likes this story so far?
     
    #10 cheesecake71, Oct 23, 2011
  11. the story is ok-ish







    but your name. is. h.o.r.r.i.b.l.e.
     
    #11 Renatum, Oct 23, 2011
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