You never get a second chance to make a first impression. These are words that, unfortunately, are true. So when you lump your KAW-dicted behind around in life, you want to be fully prepared for anything that will inhibit your "kingdom smashing" abilities.... RECEPTION ENHANCING HEADGEAR WiFi bad? No "bars" for your 3G network? NO PROBLEM. This lil' mini satellite will not only get you a brain full of cancer, but you can also hear all radio stations simultaneously. (tripod not included) KAW MEMBER "HANSEL" JACKET Are you a "super cool" spy hansel? Well why not let all of the world know how brave and badass you are!? The HANSEL JACKET will not only make muggles get out of your way, but the special "spy accessories" kit will assist in your rebel demeanor. NOOB ****-KICKING BOOTS You ever break your toe kicking a noob in the teeth? Yeah, me too. Never again. Because I now own my own pair of scrub smashing, steel toed noob boots. (order now, operators are standing by) WICKED PISSAH LIGAMENT GLOVES Tired of cramps from the "repeat" button? Tired of dropping the phone on your face while trying to play while laying in bed? You need these. The gloves come complete with a sticky, but non-smearing compound that WONT leave your screen with fingerprints, and also smells like tuna fish. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. DIAPER PANTS We are only human. So naturally, you would need get up to go to the bathroom eventually.... NOT ANY MORE! Now, with these special pants, you can sit at your PC for days!! (I strongly suggest you bring Lysol though). LIKE-MINDED FRIENDS Do you have friends? SWEET! Make sure they also share in your KAW style. This will help the world see you as normal. OK well, as compared to your friends.
Sorry that thread just didn't cut it for me, it reminded me too much of a show on HGTV. Nice try willy but the jokes fell short