Verday's Twilight- By SStG- Feedback

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Renatum, Dec 26, 2011.

  1. Feedback for Verday's Twilight. Constructive criticism and encouragement only :) no trolling, please.
     
  2. tacos taste better than bananas
     
  3. @assassin:

    please leave all my threads, including (and especially) the story thread.
     
  4. bump for feedback.
     
  5. Meh it's confusing me no likey
     
  6. Finally! Some real feedback. Thanks Gargoth. (I that name better than IRONHulk, lol)
     
  7. I enjoy what you've got down so far. My only recommendation would be to stretch your descriptions a bit. I have questions that you could answer with some more details. Really paint the picture so when he rides in to see the king I can see what the kingdom looks like. What's the castle look like? What's the season or temperature? What kind of weapon dies he carry if any? Tell me a little more about his race, who are they, what are they about? If you find a good balance of details in your world building readers will loose themselves in your story.

    Keep writing, it is a fun read so far. I look forward to the next chapter.