ARE YOU A VALIANT KNIGHT? If you are not, that is unfortunate.....BUT! DO YOU WANT TO BE?! Well, look no further my liege! Have we got some discounts for you! THIS WEEKEND ONLY!! We've got VK clothing, VK armor, VK weapons, and VK intimates for the truly sensuous Knights...down here at: COMMODORE GEOFFREY's FAKE WARTIME EMPORIUM!! WE HAVE PLUS SIZE MITHRIL ARMOR! 20% OFF!! Getting tired of the ol' armor muffintop?? Ladies cant stand the site of the armor criss-cross pattern on your entire torso? Does your mom think all the grunting and groaning in your bedroom to get your armor off is something COMPLETELY different?? Well, worry no more, fatty! The Commodore has your solution! Our chic plus sized "Ork" designs - constructed from Mithril dug out by greedy dwarves in Mount Moria, and recycled paper clips - provide more than enough protection from virginity robbing suitors! Extended Mithril exposure has been known to cause dementia, hate, greed, cancer, and warts. Use as directed. Like never. SHE-ELF KIT: ELF EARS INCLUDED Ladies, are you a warrior at heart? Are you butt ass ugly, and want to be ravaged by LARP nerds?! The Commodore has your solution! The "Arwin" is designed for the gal who enjoys woodland combat more than time with her 7 cats! Even Hugo Weaving will be trying to keep you away from the likes of Men, you cross-loving trollop! She-Elf powers not included, so don't try calling on rivers to wipe out any ring wraiths. VALIANT KNIGHT STREET GEAR Want something light? Want something powder blue to show the world how valiant powder blue looks on a knight, like me? BOOM! Street gear. Perfect for strolling around on city streets, into GameStop, or your local comic book store...or maybe a daycare, or night club for gay people? You will feel valiant, confident, and pretty. Do not venture near any construction sites, high schools, gyms, car dealerships, prisons, MMA academies, or near Burt Reynolds...he will punch you. EXTRA WARM VK SLEEPWEAR 50% OFF! Tired of wearing metallic undergarments to sleep? Slip into this extra comfortable leather baseball mitt for your midsection. You will catch many things, but a cold won't be one of them! Limit 2 per customer this weekend only! Not due to demand, but more because I ran out of baseball mitts. AIR KNIGHTS! Wanna run?! WHY? Running is for losers! Enjoy tying up your ankles in this sultry garment made from the same thing they make pool tables out of! Your feet will thank you! Remove the wrap at least 5 times daily or you will cause irreparable circulation damage and lose your foot. LADIES BROAD SWORD! FINANCING AVAILABLE @ 3.7% ANNUAL! Girl. Are you fed up with men having all the long equipment? Well, strike fear into the hearts of all who come across you in battle! The Commodore hath given you, m'lady, the advantage! Not responsible for back, arm, head damage that may occur from handling this weapon. The Commodore thanks you for your patronage! Shop Valiant, shop often, and remember, for all of your LARPY needs, visit COMMODORE GEOFFREY's FAKE WARTIME EMPORIUM!!
Re: VALIANT KNIGHT WEEKEND DISCOUNT What's the point in this? Lol I love you willy but are you dunk? :lol:
Re: VALIANT KNIGHT WEEKEND DISCOUNT Yes. I am dunk. But also, I spent 45 minutes on a thread, and not only did the ampersand cut off 60% of it...but the copy/paste I did before I sent didnt take. I have to go to work now, and will fix it later. #firstworldproblems
Re: VALIANT KNIGHT WEEKEND DISCOUNT #firstworldproblems Indeed... Fat mithril dude looks like this guy I know
Re: VALIANT KNIGHT WEEKEND DISCOUNT Buy one, get half off your next 3 guillotines. We're so crazy you could watch our heads roll!
Re: VALIANT KNIGHT WEEKEND DISCOUNT That's definitely not the definition of broader.. That would be an example of a precise question.. Narrow if you will
Re: VALIANT KNIGHT WEEKEND DISCOUNT No less broad would be musicians named Paul that have hosted Saturday night live. That's like two people.
Re: VALIANT KNIGHT WEEKEND DISCOUNT @ ashes, Im sure i seen king-arthurs-corp lining up outside 3days in advance to this sale
Re: VALIANT KNIGHT WEEKEND DISCOUNT u made it really awesome budd Bt i dint understand the Point Lol :lol: :lol: :lol: but i had a good laugh taking in considering that you are Drunk or 'Dunk' Whateva :mrgreen: Good Effort Cheers :!:
Re: VALIANT KNIGHT WEEKEND DISCOUNT Typical willy thread. Try super hard to get laughs, and in the end just another meaningless spam thread :/