STEPHANIE: I Watch Him Through The Blinds. He Lives Across The Street. In The Beautiful Red Brick House. He's In His Front Yard, With His Niece. Each Movement Compliments His Perfect Muscles.. His Muscles. Oh, His Muscles. He's So Well Built. He Plays With His Niece, Lifts Her... Spins Her... So Gracefully, Perfectly. And He Doesn't Even Break A Sweat. He'll Make Such A Great Father. I Wish I Could Be With Him Right This Very Moment. I Wish I Could Smell His Sweet Scent. Irish Spring. So I've Heard. Some People Think I'm Crazy. But I'm Not Crazy. Not Crazy. I'm Not. He's Just So... Satisfying. He's All I Want. I Need Him. And He Needs Me. He Just Doesn't Know It Yet.I'm Normal. They Say I'm Crazy, But I'm Not. You're The Crazy Ones. SANE Is Over Rated. They've Locked Me In This House Again. I Can't Get Out. Can't Go Anywhere. Can't Leave Until Tomorrow. I Scream. I'm Just A Woman. How Can You Do This to me? Take Away My Keys. Lock Me In From The Outside. Crazy. But I'm NOT Crazy. I'm Not... I'm Not. Why crazy? Such An Ugly Word. I'm Not. So Now I Sit Here And I Watch Him, Across The Street, In The Red House. The Red One, Right Across The Street From Me. One Day, I'll Talk To Him. He'll Believe Me. He's So Kind. He'll Tell Them I'm Not Crazy. I Sound Crazy. But I've Been Locked Up In Silence And Isolation So Long; Can You Blame Me? Try Living In Constant Silence. Silence. THE CONSTANT SILENCE. That Alone Can Drive A Person MAD, MAD I TELL YOU.But You See, I'm Normal. I'm Twenty Years Old. I Graduated Top Of My Class In High School. I'm Sane. Could've Been Successful, They Said. If It Weren't For The Accident... Ooooh, That Accident. I Don't Like To Think About It. I Would've Been Better If It Wouldn't Have Happened. I Wouldn't Be Locked Up Here. In This Hole. Such A Pretty Yellow House. But It's Not Pretty Anymore. It's Hell. Silence. Stillness. Restless Hell. Why Me? Why Here.I Guess The Only Thing That Keeps Me Going Is Him. He's Twenty, Too! My Sister Says His Name Is Link. He Has No Wife Or Girlfriend. Maybe That Means I'll Have A Chance. But I Never Will. My Matted Hair. And They'll Tell Him I'm Crazy. They'll Tell Him To Watch His Back Around Me, Because I'm Crazy. But I'm Not. Not Crazy. I'd Be Normal If They'd Let Me Out. I Watch The Stars. And The Clouds. And I Watch Link. I'm Normal. N-O-R-M-A-L!! LINK: I remember the day the brought in the woman across the street. She put up such a fight. I admired her spirit... But why do they lock her up in there? She's beautiful. People shouldn't hide that kind of beauty from the world. At first, i would sit outside and watch her house, for a sign she might come outside. But then, the men would go in, and i could hear her screaming. Then the house goes dark. I spoke to one of the people that visit her today. It was her sister. She says the girl in the house is called Stephanie, and she's crazy. I wonder sometimes. I'd like to get to know her. Crazy people can be cured. They just need tender love. And they need someone who cares. Maybe I'll ask the doctors if I can try to help. I went to medical school, and I learned how to deal with all SORTS of illnesses. I could cure this girl. Nothing is impossible. All you need is someone who understands. Someone who's REALLY interested in helping. I bet if -I- was locked in that house as much as Stephanie is, I'd go crazy. I wouldn't be able to deal with it. Wow. I feel sorry for her. I want to know her story. But would talking to her be enough? I imagine it wouldn't be hard to love her. She's beautiful. She has a certain glow about her. I wonder. STEPHANIE: Today, I Open The Window And Let In The Air. I Want To Run Away. But I'm Afraid They'll Take Me Away From Link. I Don't Want Them To Send Me Away. I Like This Yellow House. I Can See The Clouds. And I See Link. I Want To Know Him. I Do. But My Sister Says I'm Better Off Giving Up. Says He's Too Good For Me. He Wouldn't Be Interested In A Crazy Girl. That Hurts My Feelings. But I know She Loves Me. She Does. She Just Doesn't Want Me To Get Hurt. She Protects Me. She Protects Me From Getting Hurt. She Loves Me.Laney. That's My Sister. She Says Link Smells Like Irish Spring. I Bet His Smell Is Breath Taking. That Aroma Would Be Like Smelling An Angel. My Mom's An Angel. She Died In The Accident. Sometimes My Sister Tells Me It Should Have Been Me Who Died. I Know She Loved Mother. I Loved Mother Too. But She's An Angel Now. I Want To Be An Angel Someday. My Sister Says If I Don't Snap Out Of This And Quit The Act, They're Going To Put Me Into A Permanent Sleep And I Will Be An Angel. I Want That SO Much. Oh. The Men Are Here. I Have To Go. I'm Not Supposed To Have Pens. They'll Punish Me If They Catch Me With This. They Make Me Do Things With Them When I Break The Rules. I Don't Like The Things They Make Me Do. Oh. The Things. The Kind Of Things That Mama Said Were Meant To Be Saved For Marriage. Oh. The Men Are Here With Mail! I'll Be Back Shortly. LINK: There go the men again. I hate what they do to her. Today I left a letter in her mail box. I was scared they wouldn't give her the letter. I told her sister. She laughed at me and told me i didn't know what I was getting myself into. I don't like Laney. I'd like to know what happens in that house. Stephanie screams at night, and it always happens while the men are there; I never know what to think of it. I saw them take the mail into the house. I really do hope she gets it. I hope she reads it. I still don't think she's crazy.. not at all. Oh well. I guess what goes on in her life is none of my business. I learned my lesson last time I got involved in things that weren't my problem. Right now I'm sitting here, watching Stephanie through her window. I try to watch closely for anything that looks suspicious.They're leaving now, so I guess it's ok to go take my shower. STEPHANIE: The Men Just Left. They Found Me With My Pen. One Of Them Slapped Me So Hard I Fell Against The Wall. Then Another Forced Me Back Against The Wall And Touched Me In Places I'd Rather Not Say. I Had To Stay Quiet. If I Make Noise They Make Me Do Things Back. I Don't Like It When They Make Me Do Things Back. Because If I'm Not Pleasing Enough They Make Me Stand Exposed In Front Of Them And They Touch Me Places. They Call Me A Crazy Girl. But I Swear I'm Not Crazy. I'm Really Normal. Good Thing I Have Extra Pens Hidden.Anyways. They Didn't Give Me My Mail Because I Broke The Rules. I Guess I Deserve It. Laney Tells Me I Need To Learn To Follow The Rules Before They Put Me To Sleep. I Need To Learn To Behave. They Told Me If I'm A Good, Quiet Girl Tomorrow, Then They'll MAYBE Give Me My Letters Tomorrow. All I Have To Do Is Give Them What They Want And I Get Rewarded. They Say It's Not As Difficult As I Make It Seem. Apparently I'm Just A Problem To Them. I Don't Know Why I Have So Much Trouble Performing Even The Simplest Of Tasks. I'm Just Stupid. Laney Told Me I Should've Died, Not My Mom, Because All I Do Is Attract Attention To Myself. I Never Do Anything Right. Why Can't I Just Be Normal Like They Want. I Cry Myself To Sleep Now. I'm A Bad Girl. Nobody Loves Me. Nobody Ever Loved Me, Because I Never Do Anything Right. I Can Feel The Tranquilizers Kicking In. It's Time For Me To Sleep Now. LINK: I could hear her screams again tonight, but now the house is dark. I wonder what she's doing right now. Maybe she's asleep. Wherever she is, I get an uneasy feeling about her living conditions. I think I'm going to keep this short tonight so that I can watch her house. I try to keep an eye on it for suspicious activities, but it's hard to write and wacht at the same time. See? I even spelled watch wrong. Nwo I'm Falling asleep. I guess I can risk a short nap. Will investigate more later.
Damn, that was a pretty sweet triple post. Jus' sayin'. Let me just say that I absolutely love well executed stories about insanity. Now that that's out of the way, analysis time. I do believe you have a good concept. It's rather nice, and it's got massive potential to go places. However. Slow down a little bit: keep in mind that your male character only has an idea of who Stephanie is. Maybe some character introduction somehow? Dunno. But this whole "Zomg, crazy girl, fix!" thing doesn't make too much sense right now (and yes, that was possibly the harshest and stupidest way to put it). I think that's an easily fixable error, and your only noticeable one.
Lol in all honesty this is something I wrote two years ago. I've been toying with the idea of editing and continuing it. Also, the triple post was completely unintentional.