Twas the night before a failed strip and all through the house not a creature was stirring ... Not even a mouse My allies were snuggling up in their bed Thoughts of never growing in their heads Momma had her protein and I had a beer and I had just settled down for a long nightly nap When up in my newsfeed arose such a clatter I winked at my iPad that this was nothing to matter I reached to the iPad like a flash Silver bars and new allies appeared In a dash The steals on me looked like pee on new fallen snow Ally hire bonus outweighing their own damage When what to my wondering eye did appear But a bumbling fool with gold to spend here With his little old spies so slow and lathargic I knew in a moment it must be a failed strip Slower than molasses and honey they came And he whistled and shouted and called my allies by name Now inactive now reset bomb. Now stateless alt and horrible build On overpriced on overvolleyed on useless and drop him Now dash away dash away dash away all So up to the housetops my allies they flew With hopes of a strip and the failed stripper who need not be named And then in the twinkling I heard on the roof the prancing and pawing of each little foot As I clicked hire over and over down the chimney they came with a bound They were all terrible in stats but gave max plunder the same They looked like a bunch of drunk kids who never kaw-d at all Their eyes how they twinkled Their cheeks so merry A new owner they had But for how long would they last As I grabbed my beer and laughed at the fail I look over my new allies and spent the rest on silver and bronze bars I've gone off the script as this poem is a lot longer than I can remember I'm not even rhyming at this point all the same it doesn't matter The point has been made My allies have no fear even though the failed stripper still always near As he flew away thinking success i peed in the toilet and let out a good laugh that I'll see you in a few hours. Merry failed strip to me and to my allies goodbye