Plz criticise and give me more advice for next chapter The unsuspecting one Prologue I woke up to hanging up side down with with shagalagas surrounding with a fire underneath me. Doing there victory dance it goes like them doing lots of noise like ooga laga shaga daga do um laga shag daga do um so on and on. They had swords mixed with elements fire, water, earth and air they made the swords so they could defeat any elementals and warriors. Wait I'm sorry. I'm getting a head of my self . Chapter 1 6 months ago I woke up and couldn't remember anything it was all green and I found a sword and a book beside me the book read the entire encyclopaedia of magic, fighting and weaknesses of animals and monsters. I firstly got up and took in my surroundings there was trees every where I was in a slight opening with what looked like burnt leaves and some stumps around me. I walked north I'm not sure why it just felt right. There was a wolf it hadn't seen me so I decided to try to burn it with magic. I had looked in the book previously and it said the best way for beginners to use magic is to day what want it to do over and over in your head so I kept thinking burn,burn,burn,burn,burn then suddenly I heard a yelp that put me out of my concentration. The wolfs tale was slightly singed and had noticed me so I pulled out the sword I had and went over . The wolf tried to hit me with it's paw I raised my left arm to protect myself but then I realised to late that it had penetrated deep into my skin. Then with the adrenalin in me I slashed down at is head that had killed it. I had suddenly realised how faint I was I had lost a lot of blood. So I tried to so some more magic to heal myself. Heal, heal, heal, heal. I had a tingly sensation in my arm and when i looked down it was all but a White scar. But doing that magic had taken a lot of work and I had blacked out. Chapter 2 Next thing I knew I had woken up in a bed with the smell of a pine fire. I checked my bag to see if I still had my stuff. Luckily I had it. I then tried to get up but unsuccessfully, I fell flat on my face with a with a big bang. I heard some foot steps coming in. The man who came in looked around 30 he had black hair and had his sword in hand he asked ," what's happening". To which I replied,"nothing. Also where are we." the mysterious man while laughing," why we're in the amazing land of zargrath."I then replied,"who are you?" the man replied,"John and what's your name and age?" to which I replied," my name is warganthia and war for short and I think I'm 15 him asking that question just let me remember a little about my past. I heard a banging on the door and John said quickly,"go hide." I tried to protest but he sharply said,"now." I went to hide under the bed. I could see that John had opened the door. A man of around the same age as John had punched him the face and knocked him out cold. I then saw the mans face he had two long scars down either side of his face. It brought back a flash back a scared 5 year old cowering under the bed while his parents were being murdered by that very man. War gets out and silently goes to the door way and tries to burn the mans thugs this time it worked properly. The mens flesh was burnt of there very skin. Then John kicks out at the man ,but the man jumps up and dives through a window smashing it and escaping into the night.war then goes over to the John and unties him. As soon as war had done that John asked," what the hell was that!" "I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, I was about but then that man came in." " dont tell anyone that you can do magic they execute people who can do it." "Who was he?" John replied gravely ," that was klikado." I replied ,"he murdered my parents." I replied with a face of pure fury and anger. "it's most likely he did he runs around 80% of the crime in zargrath." I asked John ,"why did he come here." John replied after 20 seconds ," i owe him a lot of money." " we should go into town and get you some clothes," said john and war realised he was wearing only shorts.