"The Test Subject" by Inkspell22

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by *Inkspell22 (01), Jun 2, 2011.

  1. This is a Portal fan fiction.
    It will be in several parts. Even if you dont like Portal or other VALVe games, please read~ and Portal and VALVe are not mine, soo...
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    I woke up in a cool, dark room. "Where...am I?" was my first thought. "Ahh, welcome back. How...nice..to see you again." A robotic voice greeted coldly over an intercom. I shakily woke up, looking at everything, examining evrything in sight. Then it struck me: I was back in Aperture Laboratories. "Crap. Why must this happen to me?" I thought out loud. I looked around more. Glass of water...coffee cup...portal gun.......PORTAL GUN! I picked up my old weapon, and a portal opened leading out of the Relaxation Chamber.
    "Are you ready, my 'friend'", GLaDOS's voice said. "to begin testing?" I thought for a minute, then stepped through the portal. I've killed her before...I'll kill her again.
     
  2. And this is my first fanfic. And, although you incinerated him, i will
    Include that loveable block of geometrical goodness that is the Companion Cube.
     
  3. And yes, i realize it could be longer. I made it up as i went along.
     
  4. Not just the companion cube, the WEIGHTED companion cube.
     
  5. :3 Geometrical goodness -3-
     
  6. Have you done P0rtal 2 yet?
     
  7. Havent beten Portal 1 yet~ Almost done with lvl 18.
     
  8. Arg I love p0rtal 2
     
  9. Nobody murdered me, or put me in a potato, or fed me to birds.. I had a good life. Until you showed up, you dangerous, mute lunatic. -GLaDOS
     
  10. And im gonna try to get a chapter up every day, or at least once a week.
     
  11. And now I here the voice of my conscience, and it scares me because it's my own

    -GLaDOS
     
  12. Being Caroline taught me a valuable lesson. I thoight you were my enemy, but it turns out you were my best friend. That surge of energy that shot throigh me taugt me a more important lesson: where Caroline lives in my brain. *deletes Caroline* [Male Voice] Caroline deleted. [GLaDOS] Good bye, Caroline... -GLaDOS
     
  13. I love that part
     
  14. Space. SPACE? SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE! Whats your thing about space? Mine is space.
     
  15. UPDATE: "The Test Subject, Chapter 2" will most likely be longer than this and will take serious planning, As im a so-called "noob" at writing fanfictions.
     
  16. Both are great games! 
     
  17. Too short to tell.... Dialogue could be more flowy but overall good :)
     
  18. Wow your really good at writing. Like really good. But there are some things:
    •it does depend on the writer, but normally, when you write what a character is thinking, 'you use these marks', "not these". As you well know, the latter is for speech. Not thoughts, but it is an independent opinion there.

    •when doing thought too, usually you do a new paragraph, as you do with speech.

    •use paragraphs more. It is good, and you do use them, but sometimes it's quite confusing reading a 10-sentence long block.

    Hope this helps, just some grammatical errors, but a fantastic book!
     
  19. Er, well, I only made it so short because my Ipod was going to die, and I made it up as i went along..