"Bella." Edward Cullen paused, looked his wife in the eye and said, "We need to talk." He moved away from her and sat down on a fallen tree. "Its not working out. I want a divorce." Up until now, Bella had been listening to the forest around her. The birds were singing merrily and wolves, or shapeshifters at least, howled in the background. Upon hearing Edward's statement, her head snapped upright and she stared at him in horror. "Divorce...?" Her eyes went wide and she clutched her throat...
"You cant do that Edward!" Bella tried to stop the tears flowing and mentally braced herself... She relaxed the shield around her mind and tried to show Edward how much he meant to her. Edward yelped and leapt up. "You see...? Thats what im talking about!" He backed away from her rapidly and came to a halt at the edge of the clearing they were in. "You think i like knowing whats going on in your twisted little mind? **** NO!"
Edward started pacing the edge of the clearing ranting all the while... "Everytime we talk, you go and pull that stupod stunt and i have to remember to breathe and not ******* sock you!" Bella, in a state of shock suddenly spoke up... "I turned into a vampire for you!" "Did i want you to??? NO!!!" Things continued like this for a time, Edward accusing Bella of being to pushy and Bella alternating between shouting profanities at Edward and begging him to give her one more chance.
In the middle of their arguing they heard the sound of jingle bells and a voice soared above them... "AH HELL RUDOLF JUNIOR! WHAT THE **** ARE YOU DOING?"
There was a round of cursing, a shriek as a tiny little elf fell to the earth in a tumble and as the sleigh came down after it, an almighty crash as it fell on something none too human...
I emerged from the sleigh, a little flustered and a little battered but with no lasting damage. "As much as i love thrill rides, that was too close!" I climbed over the edge of the sleigh and looked around. I had no idea where the sleigh reindeer in training, had taken me. Hands on hips i surveyed the area and heard a muffled protest coming from the direction of my feet...