The Journy

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Hidden_Shadow, Sep 29, 2011.

  1. Hello. My name is Sop21. I live in a lvl 3 Beistry and cleen up agter the war elephants. Sounds boring? Thats because it is. So one day i got fed up and left. The end, right? Not right. It just so happened to be the same day as the famous warrior Benny came through. There were people who dived at Benny to get his autograph. Being the naive youth I am, I weaved between angry protesters and adoring fans. I was almost there... but nothing is ever that simple, is it? A scout came hurrying over the crest of a hill with a hole in his chest. Healers escorted the scout away. Like everyone else in the village, I was disgusted about an innocent being attacked by a monster. But I was also intruiged...

    Tell me if you like it. If enought people respond positivly, I might write more.
     
  2. Anyone like it?
     
  3. Journey* Beastiary* after*
     
  4. That's*


    never, NEVER start a sentence with "But"
     
  5. Like it but use correct grammer Sop
     
  6. I think it could be good, but there isnt enough for me really to tell
     
  7. More detail and elaboration. And for the record you CAN start a sentence with 'but'. It's very normal. Lots of good authors do it. And in lots of places theres nothing at all against it. So starting with 'but' is okey dokey.
    Other than that>.> its good