Chapter 1 My mom went up to the speakers podium and said "attention everyone I have a announcement to make." I am leaving the school on account of me me called to the line of defense. You will not have school until our city is free from danger, With that the room rang with gasps "where are you going?" My best friend beth asked me, she was 10 with shortish smooth Blondel hair b
Chapter 1 My mom went up to the speakers podium and said "attention everyone I have a announcement to make." I am leaving the school on account of me me called to the line of defense. You will not have school until our city is free from danger, With that the room rang with gasps "where are you going?" My best friend beth asked me, she was 10 with shortish smooth Blonde hair and a extremely thin body
Home, I replied I had long black hair silver eyes and I was fit and sleder, I was also surprisingly fast, strong, and good with the sword,
was the first one of these called "the lost start of aeraeol"? I saw this, I was like, 2 stories, same name? Then I noticed that difference. Continue writing this before I make a judgement. A little hard with this.
Chapter 2 As I slammed the door behind me I yelled "mom are you home yet! " yes honey " came the gentle reply
Ok, I don't mean to be prudent anything, but: 1. You need better grammar. Have autocorrect on. I think it'll do better good than harm. If you're on the computer, it has somewhat of an autocorrect. 2. I stress this. LONGER posts. The posts you're writing are 2-3 sentences long. Write it before you post it in Microsoft word or some sort of note system and make sure the chapters are long enough. 3. Longer story. Be descriptive, I love descriptiveness. 4. I'm gonna give you somewhat of a lecture on "s. Example of right way: "Hi, how are you today?" said Bob. Capitalize the first letter of the name, capitalize the first letter in the first word in quotation. Also, ADD PUNCTUATION! Without punctuation we would all be run-on and incomplete sentences.
Your grammar is crap at best; if you want to make it better, type it in Word or something before posting. Your writing is also choppy, making it extremely difficult, if not painful to read. Allow me to show you. 'The man walk in the room. He was good with seords, but who was he? I wonder. I had been in prison all my live and he is new here. Then he hit me with the sword.' Even you should see the errors here. This is about your level. Oh, and one more thing. If you want to write a god damn story, make it a god damn STORY, NOT a miserable collection of two-sentence bits that show LESS than the NOTHING you're already trying to show!
Your chapters have to be longer! And grammar, grammar, grammar! Chapters should be at least this long So first off, let me tell you a bit about myself. I'm not the bad guy here, I just told you I was different. My name is, I mean was Sirk Deth. Not really the nicest name around but people respected it. You see, I have the blood of the two strongest families, the Soul and the Deth family. Coincidence much? Ya I guess so, but it also happened to have a nice ring to it, since they have been paired up and called The Balancers of Order
Messed up srry, I meant this So first off, let me tell you a bit about myself. I'm not the bad guy here, I just told you I was different. My name is, I mean was Sirk Deth. Not really the nicest name around but people respected it. You see, I have the blood of the two strongest families, the Soul and the Deth family. Coincidence much? Ya I guess so, but it also happened to have a nice ring to it, since they have been paired up and called The Balancers of Order and Chaos(or just "The Balancers" for short.) The Souls were the most gifted mages in Axelinas while the Deths were the fiercest elven warriors in the empire. These two clans were called upon during the battle of the Dragon Siege. Although both clans never met, they fought as if they were one, the Souls healing the Deths as they fought. They're the reason Axelinas didn't fall into a period of disunion. That's why both are known as the royal families of the kingdom. My mom(Victoria) came from the Soul family and my dad(Blake) from the Deth. They got married and had me. Bad mistake. They were 11th generation Balancers and didn't know much about their history since there hasn't been any action in the realm for years. There wasn't any need for them to get involved in all that violent history. But even so, they had their ancestors blood and were excellent fighters. Turns out, there was a prophecy about different forces coming together and making a figure that would vanquish all good in the land...then destroy the world. Well, turns out that was me Anyway, on that happy note, let's begin our story......