Inspired by a comment from Martyn on a thread I made last week, plus an article in last week's New York Times, I'd like to discuss the topic of marrying for money. We, the sheeple of KaW, have been brainwashed our entire lives to believe that the only ethically justifiable reason to marry another person is for love. Why have we been brainwashed into believing this? It's to keep poor people poor and to prevent them from achieving upward socioeconomic mobility. You see, socioeconomic marriage discrimination is very real, and it is, perhaps, the only acceptable, blatant form of discrimination left in the western world. A person who marries another person for money is called a "gold digger." In my opinion, that's logically identical to calling a white woman wanting to marry a black man a "nigger lover." So, ladies and gentlemen of KaW, don't let the haters hate! If you can find someone willing to marry you for your good looks, and that person is willing to share their wealth in exchange for being their arm candy, then I say "more upward socioeconomic mobility power to you!"
Exactly! How many people go into a relationship blind? Everyone is evaluated as a potential mate. Your looks, education, offspring, family, etc etc. Why can't money be a bigger part of the evaluation without being called a gold digger?
Really? I haven't seen any proof to support that, but my personal anecdotal evidence supports what you're saying. There seems to be a lot of misunderstanding about arranged marriages. Most people seem to believe that arranged marriages go like this: Some misogynistic man comes along and picks a pretty woman he finds. Then, his family kidnaps her, puts her in a wedding dress and forces her to marry the man against her will. Nothing could be further from the truth, at least insofar as the arranged marriages I've seen.
Ahhhh I wrote a post and it didn't go through. Time to rewrite. In ancient/medieval times it was common for nobles to marry for political reasons while maintaining mistresses throughout their life. Marriage out of love is only a modern construct which rarely works. Most couples who are married for more than 20 years have stayed together not out of love, but due to other reasons, such as children, stability, routine, or for the fear of not being able to find someone else. There is nothing wrong with marrying for money. What is wrong is when you don't make your intentions clear. If you are going to marry someone for money, it should be made clear. It is wrong to manipulate someone's emotions in order to acquire wealth.
Very odd perception of how people see arranged marriages. Especially when it comes to faith arranged marriages. Marrying for money has occurred for millennia. There is nothing new about selling ones daughter for a better standing diplomatically or wealth wise. The ideal of marrying for love is because in an ideal world everyone should have the option to choose who they spend the rest of their life with. The sad truth is many are trapped in bad relationships and very few prosper ( in comparison to the 1% elite ) by a marriage. Nicole smith comes to mind and a Japanese girl ( sorry the name eludes me ) that sold herself into marriage. Money may make life more comfortable. But it cannot buy true love. To me true love represents happiness. All the money in the world won't buy that. But heck I bet it makes being lonely more bearable
Very true. And in all the arranged marriages that I'm personally aware of, both the man and the woman must accept the partner, so each person gets to choose their partner.
People marry for lots of different reasons. Love, children, it's the next step in the relationship etc. Really there's no reason money can't be a reason. Yes, it's frowned on by society cause it makes you a 'gold digger'. And personally, I wouldn't do it. But it can work for some couples, provided (as stated earlier), they're both aware of the situation and are on the same page and it's not about manipulation. Whether people think you're a gold digger or not is really irrelevant. The two people in the relationship have to be happy with what they decide. Whether others approve doesn't matter. You can both decide to marry for love or to marry for money. Both are decisions you (should) make together. It's just that one is now frowned upon by society. Just my two cents worth
Been with one woman for 14 years. We have 3 awesome sons together. Neither one of us wants "marriage". My reason is, that I'm too busy workin and raising my sons, properly. It would take a lot of planning, to "get rid of her" lol. Her reason is the same....
Interesting perspective. I'm glad you found a partner who shares your take on marriage. So far, every woman I've dated has always pushed for marriage really hard. If you're not a wealthy person looking to expand your influence by taking a wife from another wealthy family, I don't see any benefit to a couple to ever get married. If anything, it's like you said - marriage just adds liability without a substantive benefit.
She doesn't look like the kind of plumber to get paid to touch pipes. She is doing this for free. It may take her a while to accomplish something.