Gentle reader you have surely heard the tall tail of the Monkey's paw...how that dreadful curse cost plenty of kind souls their peace.... Now i will regale you with another tail of the "Deathmonkey".. true or fan fiction you be the judge. In the early days of your Kingdom, there was once a hairy useless slob who was nobody. No one knew who they or cared. But up above them was a class of godly greats whom had pumped millions of coins and things known as "US dollars" into becoming all powerfull. Deathmonkey shook it's fist while looking up at a gallant Sr. Benjamin Franklin Deathmonkey: curse you rich man. curse you. i don't want to be a hairy useless pile of slob. Now little did this slob know....that their wish was about to come true....for that very night...a miracle happened...this slob started to grow a tail! Now it was no ordinary tail for this was no ordinary man.... The slob discovered that as the tail was long, powerfull and compensated for their "short comings/cummings" now he didn't even need to use his left hand to ram things up the back. Anyways gentle reader, i'm digressing... Now this tail gave this slob 3 powerful wishes that also had grave consequnces...you see it would twist the wishes so that you attained your goal but in the worst way possible. The slob didn't care...it wanted to be famous, it wanted to be powerfull. It was very tired of scratching it's rear while others basked in glory. So it climbed up the ranks of the famous the only way it could....but calling on the powers of Mr. ro-boto. Poof instant credibility but as soon as Mr. Ro-boto was gone....bye bye fame...back to being a stupid monkey The second wish was for power. It tried to join into some important events like a big war...but being a slob it couldn't stay away to fight long enough so even though it's magic tail was long, powerfull and very smelly by this time...it was not enough. The monkey became famous all right...but for being a butt of every war joke Example: knock knock no ones there? deathmonkey must be sleeping again, yeah...go look at his stupid turtle build..STRIP PARTY!!!!!! The last wish was to join a clan...and make friends....nothing funny about that i guess...making friends is ok. Good luck in clan chaos! once all his wishes were used up...the tail was gone...only a little inhuman stub remained...so short and stubby So what's the lesson to be learned? The monkey was much better off shoving their tail up instead of trying to be someone. at least they would have 2 hands to play KAW. This has been a fan fiction about the 3 wishes you never wanted to hear about. Good night gentle reader....
Just be fair....I always have believed Deathmonkey to be a thai spinner lost in America trying to work their way back home.