"Grand Moff Tarkin's toilet is plugged" The cold metallic voice trickled through the intercom "Again?" FN-0504 groaned "Can't you just send a cleaning droid?" He meekly asked, knowing the answer "You know the drill.. Ever since that Princess had been detained onboard, our Lord Vader had upped the security level to maroon 5" "That means..." "Stormtroopers get to do the crappy chores for the VIP's".. FN-0504 finished the sentence.. "Take the plunger.. Grand Moff doesn't like chemical cleaners".. the metallic voice tailed off.. The stormtrooper shook his helmet dejectedly and grabbed a primitive looking plunger and held it out like a lightsaber. "Whoosh whoosh" he mimicked "I am the dark lord of the toilets.. and I shall send you down the drain!".. FN-0504 chuckled, whimpered.. and made his way to the Grand Moff's quarters on the Death Star. --------------------------- FN-0504 was greeted with a most pungent odour as he lifted the lid of the Grand Moff's toilet. And the sight that greeted him was just as unpleasant.. Floating chunks large and small were lazily circling the filled to the rim brownish water. "Kinda like an assembly of Star Destroyers before a planet landing" he thought.. "Well.. here comes the light saber!" FN-0504 was poised to plunge down with the authority of a Sith Lord, when he noticed.. something moved in the bowl. What the heck!? The trooper was startled. He clutched his plunger and peered closer into the swirling mess of "Star Destroyers" His years of Stormtrooper training and countless battles serving the Empire had heightened his warrior instincts as he inched closer to the bowl.. "That's it, I'm asking for a transfer outta this Death Sta.."his thoughts didn't finish when a singular eye popped up from the brown muck. Whack! FN-0504 swung to smash the eye but the eye was quick to sink back into the depths and instead he got splashed with the slime over his white helmet. A thick tentacle the size of his arm then emerged from the murky depths of the toilet bowl and started wrapping around his brown stained helmet.. He grasped the tentacle with one hand while reaching for his communicator with the other and yelled! "Monster attack at Grand Moff Tarken's toilet! Requesting immediate backup! Bring blaster rifles!" He wedged the plunger between the tentacles and his neck to pry his head from the grip while thrashing feverishly to grab his blaster pistol. After a brief struggle and liberal splattering of the plugged toilet all over the room, FN-0504 accessed his blaster and squeezed a few rounds into the bowl. The tentacles quickly retreated, and he heard the cold metallic voice on the communicator.. "The organism seem to have moved to the toilet next door down the hall..please proceed immediately and neutralize the threat" "Great.. where is my backup!?".. the Stormtrooper, now covered helmet to boots with the gunk and slime, looking like he had just fought an intense battle in swamps of Dagobah, groaned and ran down to the next room ----------------------------------- The drenched trooper gently buzzed the door to the suite. The door whooshed open and the trooper stepped inside. A bounty hunter wearing the fabled armour of the Mandalorian Knights peered at him from behind the green and battle scarred helmet. "Sorry to interrupt, but we have a class 2 monster loose in your.." the trooper paused "In your toilet... sir".. The bounty hunter looked up and down the drenched trooper.. paused, and activated some controls on his arm and a nozzle protruded from his gauntlets "Holy Hutt.. this dude means business!" FN-0504 thought as he followed the bounty hunter to the toilet They positioned on either side of the toilet door and the fearsome bounty hunter signalled three fingers up while pointing the other arm with the nozzle at the door.. The fingers started curling back the silent countdown.. Three.. Two.. One! FN-0504 kicked the door in and immediately, an intense flame of superheated plasma shot out of the bounty hunter's weapon into the toilet.. They saw the tentacles writhing and slashing at them as the tough toilet monster fought back with malice. The bounty hunter kept his cool and swivelled a rocket from his shoulders and aimed into the tiny toilet room.. "Oh no! A thermite rocket!" the Stormtrooper shouted with glee and terror as he flung down the floor to shield himself from the blast.. "KaBOOM!" The toilet obliterated and showered their armour with debris. They both got up and to the trooper's dismay, the monster seem to have escaped. The bounty hunter reached to his arm and projected a holo-tracker image above his arm.. a red dot was quickly traversing the drain pipes and appear to be heading to a destination that the trooper recognized.. The drenched Trooper dripping with contents of the Grand Moff Tarkin's toilet shouted into his communicator.. "Activate the trash compactor at the detention level right now!!!" -------------------- May the 4th be with you
Hi loved the story just had to point out in the Star Wars universe bathrooms are called Refreshers and there is no word toilet
Aye well done! Had no idea where this was gonna go, and yep.. surprised lmao. Alert level "Maroon5"! too perfect! xD
I am very glad to see that there are awesome readers who enjoy this story. As you know, there are true Star Wars fans who actually want to know the important background history of what really happened long time ago in a galaxy far far away, such as: Why didn't Obi Won remember R2? What was Han Solo smuggling when he did his record setting Kessel Run? Why didn't Darth Vader remember his own creation in C3PO? Where can I get Max Weebo's greatest hits? So I wrote this story to answer a very important question: "Why was the trash compactor activated when Han and Chewie and Luke and Leia were in it.."