Shock and Awe

Here's a little action scene I wrote for class. Tell me what you think.


“You killed her…”
I went still, the gunshots still echoing in my ears.
“You freaking KILLED HER!”
At that moment, there was nothing in my mind but sheer and utter pain. I watched her fall, ragged holes torn through her body, a thousand times in a matter of seconds.
And I wanted payback.
I got shakily to my feet, looking up from my bloody hands, I saw the hole I had descended from. It quickly closed, dark steel plates sliding over the ragged hole to match the ceiling. Electricity still sparked from my hands as I took a quick look around the room. It was big. Square. And filled with grey and black armored soldiers. There must have been thousands of them. Each one had a gun pointed directly at me.
Frankly, I didn’t care.
There was a massive clap of thunder reverberating around the cubic room as I smashed my hands together, visibly forcing back the first few ranks of troops.
My vision blurred, filling with a strange haze as my anger mounted. Quickly raising one hand to each side of my body, I blasted two lightning bolts out of my open palms and into the ranks. A pair of holes in the mass of still stunned soldiers appeared, throwing them back into each other, and against a wall. There was a bloody smear leading to an even bloodier wall where they had stood.
They were regaining their senses, having been dulled by the thunder. I went to work. A ball of energy formed into my hands which I promptly tossed toward the high, squared ceiling, willing it to smash back to the ground. It exploded with a blue light, flinging bodies everywhere, which collided with others. People were screaming. I was snarling.
A half-dazed man suddenly filled my vision, swinging a baton at the side of my head. I didn’t even flinch. I simply reacted. A quick sweep to the side, his baton swishing past me harmlessly. My electrified hand squeezing his throat, lifting him off the ground with unknown strength, a sphere of lightning forming in my other palm.
It was a blur as it connected with his face, throwing what was left of him against a wall, the pieces that were still connected sliding slowly to the ground.
Would Trinity want this?
I paused for a moment. Then I heard her high, fine laugh. And the splash in all its finality. My breathing increased as the air in the room jumped with a sudden electricity.
And then, finally, they started shooting. It was only a matter of seconds since I had clapped my hands together, but it felt like forever.
Time seemed to slow as I registered the gunshots, the bullets, and the surety of pain. I flicked my wrists, shouting, the air around me shimmering blue. Bullets inside the aura, and any colliding it, instantly disintegrated, pelting me with fine dust.
I dashed forward, ignoring the bullets still trying to reach me, my rage growing with every step. A brief image of Trinity’s face still grinning, giving a double middle finger salute even as she was forced backwards, to the waiting waters below, entered my mind.
Vision filling with a white and red haze, my clenched fists extended, and, where there had previously been fifteen soldiers there was an ashen spot on the wall.
Enemies closed in on me, forming a tight square.
I would not be contained.
Flinging a host of electrified orbs at those surrounding me, each downed man replaced by another, I twisted and turned, hitting the army as a whole.
For every one brutally burned to the ground the hazy cyan light around me increased, my anger doing the same. The aura protecting me grew bigger and brighter, filling the entire room. They’d switched to knives and batons, wisely giving up on projectile weapons.
A man charged me. I backhanded him into a group of enemies, splattering them all over the walls, floor, and ceiling.
I ducked a knife swing, a pulse from one hand disintegrating my attacker’s legs.
The next baton I caught in one hand, the hard, dark plastic heating till it was a blistering white and then shattering, sending sizzling fragments shooting all over the room as half his body was instantly annihilated.
I grew more enraged with every gruesome decapitation and disintegration, a scream beginning in the back of my throat, even as I flung an enemy head first through another with a burst of energy.
Stopping, the room going still, my voice growing in volume and pitch, I formed a ball of energy in my palms, the size of a large globe. The biggest I’d ever made. As my cries grew ragged and pitched I smashed it to the ground.
The light of the room turned from light, bright blue to a blinding white. Foes lifted into the air. First came their armor, flaking and dissolving. Then their skin, revealing tight red muscles. That, too, stripped away, leaving raw, bleached white bones, which soon dissolved to dust.
I dropped to one knee, breathing heavily, surrounded by corpses and ash and blood. So much blood.
Then I smiled. Y U NO FINISH?

 

Ignore that last Y U NO FINISH. It's a note someone put on it I didn't think would get copied.

 

They killed his girlfriend. So he freaked out and tapped into all this energy he didn't know he could use.