**Disclaimer** I did not write this, I came across this article laughed a bit and decided to share- I'm guessing the taboo of promiscuity went out the window at the same time as chivalry and guys being able to scratch their own jewels without being called a misogynist. This is an actual exchange I had with a girl a while back, we'll call her "Jezebel" Jezebel: (Something about not liking to put things in her mouth. I forget exactly what she said.) Me: If there's one thing you like to do, it's put certain things in your mouth. Jezebel: That's right, and I'm damn good at it too. Me: Wow, I bet your parents would be really proud of that. Jezebel: My mom would! Me: ……………… Speechless doesn't do my reaction justice! The gears in my head were grinding painfully in attempt to figure out how she consciously spouted off a string of statements that degrading. I mean, she basically said promiscuity runs in the family. Way to steal my thunder. ★Here's my play by play analysis: :-D Jezebel: (Something about not liking to put things in her mouth. I forget exactly what she said.) ★Analysis: She is unwittingly setting herself up for a joke, as usual. Normally this would not easily be recovered from, because my jokes pierce stone hearts and make most children cry. I guess years of my verbal abuse can weather the most fragile of souls. Me: If there's one thing you like to do, it's put certain things in your mouth. ★Analysis: This is the obligatory lewd joke. Admittedly not my best, but it was quick, sharp, and to the point. Note how I make sure it alludes to her infidelity. This does not faze her. Jezebel: That's right, and I'm damn good at it too. ★Analysis: She does well here to weaken my retort by replacing warranted embarrassment with shameless pride. From my side of the fence I am winning. In one sentence she not only admitted that she enjoys a nice tube steak, but that she takes pride in an ability which likens her to a common prostitute. However on her side of the fence, she is winning. Why? Because she is totally sincere. She really is proud of. This is probably something her trampy friends applaud her for back at the harlot lair. As a matter of fact, I'll bet that as I'm writing this they're all exchanging high-fives and giggles as they share techniques on--for our younger readers I'll stop right here... Me: Wow, I bet your parents would be really proud of that. ★Analysis: I'm bringing out the big guns. She just validated her actions, probably because her circle of slut-friends commend her for it. So I call on something she values more: the parents. After all, she is daddy's little girl. Surely HE would be mortified if he knew she could breeze through a porn audition with the same lips he used to kiss before tucking her in at night. But alas, she is not afraid. Without missing a beat, she makes the ultimate comeback. Jezebel: My mom would! ★Analysis: Unbelievable. The absence of hesitation, the emphasis of the word MOM, and the sideways head swerving (you know, like those girls do on Jerry Springer when they get into it with each other) formed the sledgehammer of stupidity that drove home her conviction. Grand slam! I can't count it as a win if she doesn't acknowledge it as a loss. Reasoning with women like our friend Jezebel here is like pissing in the wind. In similar news, Jezebel's whimsical self has a boyfriend already. I think this is incredible. "I broke up with you because I just want to be single and enjoy my last year of college. We're too young to be having such a serious relationship; I need to see what else is out there." ★Conclusion: I guess if she wanted to be anymore inconsistent she could tell me she loves me and then follow it up by having a one night's stand with a guy twice and giving him--you fill in the blank-- in the same night, all before breaking up with me, and THEN insist that she's not a floozy. Oh wait, she already did that. I'm not bitter or anything. Really I'm not...