This is the beginning of my first really story on fan fictions hope you guys like it chapters will be rolling out soon Prologue Life has been bleak for the last several years since my family was killed by lord kanes men. I thought everything and everyone were meaningless pawns in a never ending chest game I was very wrong. It turns out lord Kane's men gave me a purpose that was hated pain an suffering. It gave me the one thing I need to unlock a true power the soul chain. It's a mystical weapon that allows me to take the form of warrior from the past present an future. I'm now the worlds only hope if we ever want to live without fear of his rule an a near coming age of darkness
-1 Short -1 Frequent Grammatical Errors -1 No Plot Line Hinting -1 Capitalization Errors -1 No Format -1 Punctuation Errors -1 Little Creativity -2 Choppy/Influent Sentences 1/10
Be gentle Warry. OP did say first story. It's a good start. Add a bit more description, fill it out a bit more and add some background. Lengthen it too. Then it'll be a bit better. You can do it OP, keep it up.
OP I urge you to proofread before you post. Clean up the spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors and you'll be going a long way to making it look more professional. Also what you have so far is pretty short for what you're trying to tell. Spread it out. Be more descriptive. Give backstory. That sort of stuff.