Saviour From The Skies FEEDBACK

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by lIlIlIlI-CoS-NiTRO-IlIlIlIl, Sep 3, 2011.

  1. Here is my feedback thread for Saciour From The Skies. DO NOT post feedback on the story page.

    Thank you!

    ~Zero
     
    #1 lIlIlIlI-CoS-NiTRO-IlIlIlIl, Sep 3, 2011
  2. *Saviour.
     
    #2 lIlIlIlI-CoS-NiTRO-IlIlIlIl, Sep 3, 2011
  3. I like it, but it's the exact same beginning as in DQ9. Are you writing a story version?
     
    #3 Allioss, Sep 3, 2011
  4. story version, yes.
     
    #4 lIlIlIlI-CoS-NiTRO-IlIlIlIl, Sep 3, 2011
  5. Awesome, I love that game :D
     
    #5 Allioss, Sep 3, 2011
  6. And APPARENTLY, my friend can't get an Excalipurr map.

    They're so easy for me to find...
     
    #6 lIlIlIlI-CoS-NiTRO-IlIlIlIl, Sep 3, 2011
  7. thanks for the feedback, btw.
     
    #7 lIlIlIlI-CoS-NiTRO-IlIlIlIl, Sep 3, 2011
  8. No problem, I look forward to the next chapter 
     
    #8 Allioss, Sep 3, 2011
  9. thanks!
     
    #9 lIlIlIlI-CoS-NiTRO-IlIlIlIl, Sep 3, 2011
  10. The description really annoys me.

    "They took off in an upwards direction"

    >.<
     
    #10 cheesemuffin, Sep 3, 2011
  11. Pretty good but the very first thing that bothered me a lot was the fact that you used past and present tenses together at the beginning. If you are going to you present tense, don't use past tense and vice versa.(I might be wrong though since my grammar isn't exactly stellar. So it's best if u reread it)
     
    #11 Storallelite, Sep 3, 2011
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)