Sapphire turned not wanting to know what was there but she couldn't resist. She shuddered as the shadow beast crept forward.
The Shadow Beast crept forward it was tall and strong and it was as black as night and some what see through.
I am ignorying all mean posts unless it helps me with my writing skills and u actually know what u are talking about !!
Sapphire shivered as she stood against the wall the Shadow beasts eyes cut into her. She felt her hands go up out of pure habit but nothing came no thrill of power nothing.
There's the not-enough-commas writing problem and the too-many-commas writing problem. You have the former. Severely.