Revolution: Chapter 1 The Beginning

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Khalifah_ArifAlqursi, Jan 26, 2015.

  1. CHAPTER ONE
    THE BEGINNING

    At the kingdom Castle, Castle Of Unity on the heart of our beloved kingdom, in a Great Town called Jauhar Town, the King is planning an attack againts the Great Vishnaghi empire that placing their camp on the north of The Holy Land.
    In the Strategy Room in the castle....

    King Datlah: We must plan a great strategy to fight againts this kingdom. I don't want to be the last king that ruling this kingdom!!!

    Comodor Guzerp:My lord, my army is struggling againts the cool weather at north, my army need good rest before heading back to north. If they not rest then they will be like Comodor Queridusti that died because of exhausted or killed easily by Vishnaghi empire because of not enough strength..

    Comodor Xerion: My troops were reported lost when defending Lawsa Town last week. I have only left 267 army. How can i fight?

    King Datlah: What!!?? You two are the greatest offensive and defending Comodor!! You two the one who forced me to declare war againts Vishnaghi kingdom!! Now you asking me to retreat?!

    Prince Kurnisgh: My father I will heading to north tomorrow morning with 100 thousand army. I hope I will win the war againts vishnaghi kingdom that invading North. Our Holy Land must be protect with all our flesh and blood!!

    King Datlah: I am now only hoping on you at this moment. While you attacking them I will call all warriors in whole country to force an counter -attack.

    Next Morning.. 13 Xeroph 890

    Prince and his big troops heading to North..
    The Prince were shocked when passing the scout tower at north of Jauhar Town, the informant said that 2/3 of North was invaded by Vishnaghi army. Their army was 10 times more than Prince troops. The Prince hope when he pass by some villages they will get more recruit.

    19 Xeroph 890

    The royal army are ready to war!! With 700 thousands army the King hope that they will win this great war. The royal army are ready to make a new counter attack againts the invaders.

    21 Xeroph 890
    The King are sick after the informant tell them that Prince were captured and lost his eyes and left hand.

    22 Xeroph 890
    They are now 2300 miles away from the conqueror camp in Jaxter Town.
    The King hope this war will end quick.

    To be continue next week...

    Comment so i can make better story
    Sorry if hv some incorrect words: )
     
  2. Soooo is this like some kind of screen play? Or a script? Doesn't really like a book..

    Interesting
     
  3. Tyvm for the reply: ) i will make better next chapter... u give me a great comment
     
  4. I m not making book i make story prime 
     
  5.  
  6. Awesome... Stories are better than books... I'm glad it doesn't read like a book, good luck to you in all your future endeavours️
     
  7. Can we maybe get some background information on some of the characters? Like what they look like or how their attitude is. Just a little depth.
     
  8. Why am I reading this crap?
     
  9. please do not continue this stupidity
     
  10. Your grammar is piss poor bud take a night class
     
  11. I don't have enough money to take night class. Can u support me to night class? :)
     
  12. Because u r human troll
     
  13. Why elf why?! X( . . Tell me...
     
  14. Troll n elf go die you two ****