"Proton: Genesis" Feedback Thread

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by *Ipitydahooka (01), Jan 29, 2011.

  1. Hey guys, so this is a new thing I'm trying out. Let me know what y'all think.
     
    #1 *Ipitydahooka (01), Jan 29, 2011
  2. Very good for a beginner, just try paragraphing :)
     
    #2 *NecroHyphen (01), Jan 29, 2011
  3. Good intro. And He isn't a beginner.
     
    #3 Starwars6374, Jan 29, 2011
  4. Never read any of your stories but your really good!
     
    #4 Storallelite, Jan 29, 2011
  5. Read the first part wrong thought he meant the thing he was trying out was writing
     
    #5 *NecroHyphen (01), Jan 29, 2011
  6. Very good hooker
     
    #6 german_idiot, Jan 29, 2011
  7. Lol German

    Nice description DC
     
    #7 *iPimella (01), Jan 29, 2011
  8. ..... I meant I was trying out this new kind of story. I typically don't do space/science type.
     
    #8 *Ipitydahooka (01), Jan 29, 2011
  9. Wow. Really good. I'm blown away
     
    #9 *akai41 (01), Jan 29, 2011
  10. Proton reminds me of Superman.
     
    #10 Starwars6374, Jan 29, 2011
  11. Yea I got the idea off of him like the whole coming from space thing, the strength, and being able to fly. Except he isn't invulnerable like Superman and he isn't completely infallible like Supes.
     
    #11 *Ipitydahooka (01), Jan 29, 2011
  12. Well, we're still early in.
     
    #12 Starwars6374, Jan 29, 2011
  13. True that. They're actually incredible differences and some big surprises in his future.
     
    #13 *Ipitydahooka (01), Jan 30, 2011
  14. *there are
     
    #14 *Ipitydahooka (01), Jan 30, 2011
  15. Very good
     
    #15 Empress_of_Shadows, Jan 30, 2011
  16. Very good
     
    #16 *akai41 (01), Jan 30, 2011
  17.  
    #17 Empress_of_Shadows, Jan 31, 2011
  18. Good job. Even though I hate superman. Why?

    His girlfriend is a bimbo who always seems to be a damsel in distress.
    He is virtually undefeatable.
    He has no real reason to fight crime except to save his bimbo girlfriend.
    He is morally perfect.
     
    #18 *iPimella (01), Feb 1, 2011
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