General Nicki Hitler and how he got pwned by girls. a TRUE story, i swear on the Holy Bible It Begins: It all started in Wed. 9 hour study hall, 6th grade. Matt Werner sat behind me. He had some sort of stupid code in his hands. I, being only human, grabbed the paper and started reading it. He grabbed it back, apparently it was important... 2 days later in Social Studies-1: the desks were arranged in a U formation and i (sadly) sat across from Matt and Hitler himself (guess who). Matt passed the code with something written on it to Nicki and luckily, he never got to read it. Mr. Stary looked up, grabbed it, said, "You know, if you're gonna pass coded notes... dont put the code WITH IT!" and ripped it up. I nearly died laughing. (on the inside) Flex, Some weeks later: it was pouring rain outside so we had flex in the auditorium. Nicki, Matt, Chris, & Jason march right up to me. They all have smug little grins on their faces. Jason holds up his hand. He only has 3 fingers. "So?" I say, and their jaws drop right to the floor. Jason jerks his hand away. I went to school with Jason, so I dont freak out like most people do. The next day,Flex: nonstop rain auditorium again. Nicki and his "friends" (he reminds me of someone... All his so-called friends have blond hair blue eyes, but he has black hair... coincidence? All he needs is a freaky mustache) Anywho, they walk up to me and say: "this is TOP SECRET!!" I dont know why i even payed attention to then but Matt stepped forward and said, "Do you wanna help us with... stuff?" "HAHAHAHAHA!! HA!!" yep, that was me. "WHY WOULD I HELP U?!?!?! HAHAHA!!!" im about dying and the whole school's probably staring at me. So I agree, dont ask me why. "Ok, your 1st mission is to find out whats in Sammy's---" Nicki cuts him off, "She has to hear the terms first." "Im listening." i say. "Ok, first: NO betraying the group. Second, never lie! to us, at least." blah blah blah. "So go find out whats in Sammys pocket. We think its one of our codes. After the Mr Stary thing, they kinda got scattered around." Interjections: Ok, nows the time to tell you that Nicki is actually FROM Germany, speaks perfect German, has brainwashed poor Matt into thinking he could be a soldier or something (Matt is WAY TOO weak FOR that), keeps informing me of who "likes" me, and is a fricking Hitler nazi. excuse my language there. So now im doing MISSIONS for them! WTF!!!! Almost a quarter later, Chinese-9: I catch Matt in the halls on r way 2 chinese. He looks worried... and glad to see his comrade again. He tells me Jason's trying to build a bomb. (exactly what planet is he from?) I feel bad for him. Poor, confused Matt Werner. 4th quarter rivalry: I havent heard from them much. nope. no more missions for me. me & the girls like to hang out at "the thing" a weird thing in the field by the track. its fun to sit on!! but when we got there 1 day things got bloody... the day of the battle: "WE ARE UNDER ATTACK!!!" i scream to Bethany. Luckily, she brought re-enforcements. The Girl Army: me, Bethany Westin, Shaina Graives, Bridget Van Beckum, Alex Wood, Sammy Kentowski, Kelly Haen, Mirium Hurula, Bethany Wettstein, and me. The Boy Army: Nicki (Hitler) Volkers, Matt (Hitlers Emo Assistant) Werner, Jason (3 fingers) Shell, Chris Pritzel, Blake Renfro, Kyle (Squid) Adler, Alex Guavara, Alex Orzapowski An account of the battle: we got hit. Hard. They stoned us, pelted us with dirt, i got a shoe in the face, they called us faggots, b*tches, and lesbians, Bethany ordered us to mimick them. They throw rocks? we do too. but I had enough dirt in my face! After the 6th one hit me, i screamed,"NICKI VOLKERS! YOU HAVE 30 SECONDS TO LIVE!!!!!!" I chased him halfway around the track but the funny part was: after i stopped chasing him, he did two more laps! HA! i stopped but he just kept on running! After the battle: Nicki had to be a whiner baby and told on us but we fired back enough accounts of the battle that they got in WAY more trouble than we did. we got a stern "dont do it again" they got nearly expelled and Nicki got a haircut that made him look like a wet poodle. Karma? i think yes... Next Time: It will probably happen again next year, and i cant wait for that!!! Honestly... I hope i have at least 1 of my classes with BOTH of them. Its fun to observe their strange, strange behavior. The memory lives on: I got my yearbook today so i will remember what he looks like so i can beat the living crap otta him for what he did to me!! but i dont really have anything against matt anymore... now that i think about it... he is kinda (I did say kinda) nice in a weird kind of way... as for nicki? he WILL get his AZZ kicked if he comes within 1 mile of me this summer OR next year!!! That is the story of general Nicholas hitler and the army of ferocious girls who brought him down. well he hasn't bugged me this summer, but i just hope he's not coming to camp. The End
and also if you are in this story and you happen to be reading it i apologize for possibly offending you, but its true.