This is the first chapter(sorry it's so short but it's my first attempt at a book). It's called... Truth Be Told Chapter 1 She edged, with her back flat against the wall, around the back of a derelict building. Her gun held out in front of her. Just another day out in the field. Of course, she wasn't always working out in the open, fighting crime, arresting criminals. She worked in the lab, analysing evidence and identifying bodies. Her name was Tammy Carlson. She was a member of the E.U Law & Forensics Institute. A Crash was the first sign of trouble. It was an abandoned house, for gods sake, no one should be there. Her colleague Chris was behind her, trying to devise a plan; they needed to get whoever was in there. A brick flew through a window right between her and Chris. Close. Too close. They ran round the corner. A rickety, wooden door was hanging from it's hinges. Tammy pulled out her torch from her belt and shone it at what looked like a destroyed kitchen. The floor was stained with blood. A baseball bat was on the floor; it had blood on it too. There was a rancid smell in the air. A rotting smell. Tammy and Chris knew what was coming. They followed a trail of scarlet red blood. The smell got stronger until they found what they knew was there...A body . Hope you like the first chapter. Please comment on it and I'll post the second chapter soon.
I liked the imagery. I'm very touchy about having accurate facts about police officers, as there are many stereotypes. I didn't see very many here, but other than that, good job.
It's a little to revealing for the first chapter. You already know 2 of the main character names, what they do, and where they are. To me I like it when they don't just say hi I'm blah blah blah. IMO. Other then that, good start.
Thanks guys I'll post the 2nd chapter now :lol: Chapter 2 Someone took photo's of the body on the lab table. Tammy put on some latex gloves and go to work. The body was that of a young, male, early 20's. Blonde hair, skull tattoo on the left calf. The body seemed easily identifiable. Tammy pulled off her gloves and walked over to her computer then entered the information into a database. 1 result... Missing person Kenny Brokeman. According to the database he went missing last month. She glanced at the clock. She was tired and shouldn't have been suprised. It was 1 in the morning. She wrote a note on a sticky pad. Chris, We need a date on the body. His name is Kenny Brokeman.He went missing a month ago so I want a date of how long he's been dead and how it happened. Thanks Tammy x She went back to her office, changed out of her overalls and hooped in the lift. She got to the bottom of the 15 floors and got into her Mini. Off-duty, finally, as much as she loved her job, it was great to be going home. Back at her apartment she grilled a cheese toastie, ate it and went to bed. Just another day in the office, she thought. :geek: Enjoy and comment below
I read this a while ago but I forgot to comment. I love it. The way you are so realistic is fabulous but you're doing what I often do and rushing the end. It feels stupid sometimes but it does make it sound better if you slow it down. A rule I try to use is a sentence of description for a sentence of action in the first few chapters. Don't do it too strictly but it does help me. Again I think it's brilliant and I really can't wait to read more.