:!: WARNING! :!: EXPLICIT WORDS/ IMAGERY, READ WITH CAUTION! Its strange how one tiny, seemingly insubstantial, moment can lead to such a dramatic change in your life. No, I'm sorry, those aren't the right words. The correct phrase would be: 'a complete balls up of epic proportions'. Because, unfortunately that's exactly what I'd done. I had done what my mom always told me I'd end up doing and completely ****** up my life. Or any chance therein of having a life. Within the space of 24 hours I'd gone from being an 'average douche bag layabout' to a 'run for your life if you value it layabout'. I don't suppose the blame is entirely mine though... I was after all just conforming to social... oh **** it. Who am I kidding? It was completely my fault. I may have had some help from a certain individual, but the blame is entirely mine. I did the same thing Adam did, I listened with my dick instead of my head. To be fair to Adam though, being cooped up in the Garden of Eden with one woman will drive any sane man nuts. Especially if the woman in question was the first woman ever to exist, and no Vogue or Mills and Boons in sight. I don't suppose Eden had any chocolate either... right? Anyway... I derail from the point. which is basically: men who think with their dicks get thrown out of Eden to live a life of misery on Earth forever. Oh and don't forget the disease and pestilence and all that crud. The irritating thing is though, while I'm constantly looking over my shoulder for the imminent nozzle of a gun, I keep thinking to myself: 'I shouldn't be in this shitty country anymore. I should be in a beach house in Thailand or Goa (no extradition laws) and just getting plastered.' But no, I'm hungry, I'm tired and I've been beaten more thoroughly than a steak. And Eve, the one who should be in my position is having fun with my money. The *****. This isn't my usual style of writing, I just wanted to see how I would do writing for a male target audience. Criticisms/ comments welcome.