Once there was a girl name dala but she disappeared for un none reasons it all happened on night when she was sitting in bed watching a movie with her friend and they were laughing and having fun until the screen went black and the room went dark there was nothing to be seen nothing until she could feel something slowly going up her leg and all she could do was sit there in shock as it got closer and closer. until all of the sudden she was gone just like that nothing was left and her friend proceed to laugh as if her and dala were still watching the movie but there was no dala there or was there. please tell me how i did good , bad , great or horrible.
The Return/Enter button is your FRIEND! Add titles, punctuation, and spacing and you might have a prologue or chapter.
Ummmm yeah... It sounds cool but clean it up like this: "There once was girl who was named Dala. One day she watching a movie with her friend and then a (insert weird black **** here) crawled up her leg. It covered her whole body, nothing was left of her. She would never be seen again. Something like that. It looked like 1 huge sentence. Maybe have a friend edit before you post.