Hi this is where I and I alone will post my poetry then have YOU critique it! Thank you, I need all the criticism you can give: BE HONEST please!
Like a Wolf --- Like a wolf My heart howls In deep Black Anguish Like a wolf My heart hungers In deep Black Longing Like a wolf My heart Sings In deep Black Moonlight Like a wolf My heart howls In deep Black Desire For you
B! Bit repetitive, nit with the wolf part of the poem, but with the words you used. Better word choice would result in an A!
I am a bird Without wings And I am drowning In an ocean of tears My own salty tears I am no longer The only one The one to live for And I am drowning I cry out But you turn your back Watching me drown And I choke on deep Everlasting sorrow Why her? Don't you see? I am dying! You embrace her And walk away Not caring Not anymore My vision Is blackening But the last thing My hated eyes see Is your face Full of contempt Not caring Oh sorrowful waters Take me! A bird without wings and a broken heart